Everyone loves a good movie, right? What can be more satisfying than walking out of a theater with your expectations for a film fully and genuinely met and possibly even exceeded? Especially after throwing down your hard earned eight bucks for the epic, over-hyped, event picture of the season (or week). Good movies, better yet, great movies are always fun to talk about in the lobby afterwards with your friends or on the drive home with your sweetie.

Though what about the bad movies? It only takes a bad one to shut your brain down quickly or leave a bad taste in your mouth (in which case, according to my pal Tom Mandrake, those kinds of films are better accompanied with a pitcher of beer). Well I'm coming clean and here to say even bad movies can be great. In fact, I love bad movies (to a degree) and I can usually find at least *something* worthwhile or memorable in the flops, turkeys and stinkers of the silver screen that make me come back for seconds. I believe bad movies can even be more fun to talk about, at least the ones that are so bad they are actually good.

There are definitely degrees of "bad" when it comes to movies. Some merely are disappointing. Some are so bad they are laughable. And some are so terrible they make you wish you could have the last two hours of your life back. I believe that certain bad films actually exist somewhere in between these realms.

I was discussing with some friends the etiquette of bad cinema, movies that we actually have enjoyed but are ashamed of to admit. I came up with the following list of guilty pleasures from my own sordid love affair with film and decided to share my picks with you here.

Let's start from the top (or is it the bottom?) of the barrel...

Tango and Cash - An action thriller/comedy that's the epitome of bad 80's action movie cliches and starring two of the best, well known action movie stars of the 80's. As ridiculous as this movie is (especially the atrocious finale face-off in the monster truck tricked out with missiles) at times it's actually hilarious (and even on purpose) with some genuinely funny dialogue and comedic moments between tough guys Stallone and Russell. And Jack Palance is just plain funny, whether on purpose or not. It's probably a low point on both superstar actor's resumés but it's worth checking out if you happen to like or appreciate either of them for their vastly more important contributions to cinema like Escape From New York, Big Trouble in Little China, First Blood or...

Cobra - which brings me to the next bad movie on my list that I have a soft spot for. Man, is this one a turkey but it has some of the best one liners *ever* in an action movie (move over Schwarzenegger). For example, when Marion Cobretti (Stallone) is in the grocery store trying to "negotiate" with the psycho gang member armed with explosives-

Gang member, "Back off man or I'll blow this place up!"
Cobra, "That's OK. I don't shop here."

Or how about the classic, "You're the disease and I'm the cure".

You just can't get away with lines like that seriously in today's cinema. And the truck vs. motorcycle chase towards the end of the movie, though nowhere near as epic, classic or entertaining as The Road Warrior, makes this flick worth watching just for the absurdity of violence alone.

Along a similiar vein of absurd violence...

Commando - I'm a sucker for almost all of Arnold's flicks (except for End of Days, The Sixth Day and Conan the Destroyer -yawn). As a child of the 80's I grew up on Arnold and Sly's films of over the top heroics. This film, though not as pretentious and more over the top than Running Man (another enjoyable turkey) is a total exercise in excess maiming and destruction. If you like to watch things blow up and see scores of mercenaries get dispatched in a variety of horrible dismemberments and impalements, then this is the movie for you. In fact, this one could almost be considered a "horror movie" just for those scenes alone. Throw in a cameo by Bill Paxton for good measure and sit back and watch the carnage unfold. And the movie actually has a fun, memorable score by James (Aliens, The Abyss and Braveheart) Horner to tap your feet to while the body count escalates.

The Fifth Element - I'm convinced this is a bad movie masquerading as an original roller coaster ride of energetic creativity. I also believe that Luc Besson did indeed come up with the plot and the script for this movie when he was sixteen years old, as he so proudly and once publicly stated. It's peppered with glorified, teenage inspired, typical sci-fi/action moments.

But, admittedly, the teenager in me actually lives for those moments.

I agree with my friend Nicky and as he puts it, "Bruce Willis is actually good in the part of Korben Dallas and transcends his character by portraying someone who doesn't belong in that 'cartoon-ized' future era. Which is why he finds himself developing a bond with Leeloo who, as the pinacle of this cartoonized (reality) and (is an) impossibly (gorgeous) alien figure, is as estranged from that universe as he is. The subtleties contrasting with the in your face elements Luc Besson uses to protray the future in a screaming orgy of color and excess are amazing."

And speaking of screaming orgies of excess...

Armageddon - My buddy Justin can't quite understand why I like this movie... and neither can I exactly. In fact, I'll argue with anyone who honestly thinks this is genuinely a great movie. And I can't even really stand Michael Bay films (I haven't brought myself to check out The Island yet, sorry Obi-Wan).

Though it's just not quite as obnoxious as Bad Boys, as headache inducing as The Rock or even as mediocre as Pearl Harbor but it does go so annoyingly for all the button-pushing, flag waving, Nike commercial-looking imagery and scenes it can muster. Even for all of the attention deficit editing that Bay inflicts upon our eyeballs (which is almost *criminal*) there's enough charm and emotion that resonates from the actors (most prominently Bruce Willis who thankfully happens to be in most of the scenes of the movie) that I just can't help but like it. Liv Tyler kinda makes it easy on the eyes too.

The 'rough' and 'red' necks surrounding Willis and rounding out the macho cast (Buscemi, Duncan, Patton, Wilson, Thornton and heck, even Affleck) all pull their weight and rise to the occassion here. This tried and true concept of a bunch of irregulars on a do or die mission with impossible odds could have actually been a "great" movie in the hands of another competent director. Maybe someone who could hold a camera in place for longer than three seconds. Instead, we get a badly directed and hyper edited movie with a respectable cast and plot that deserves to be better than what it really is. An overly commericalized, massochistic music video experience of cinema that's nonetheless enjoyable... somehow.

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I'll post next time with part two of my list but in the meantime feel free to share your thoughts or even list the guilty pleasures you just can't live without in the comments below.