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 | Top Ten Time #26 |
 Like any government, the Old Republic had rules, ancient laws which formed the basis for a civil society. Equally wise and confounding, specific and obscure, nobody is quite sure where these decrees originated -- all we know for certain is that there are ten of them. Ten rules... ten laws... ten commandments.
And so, at the risk of some sorta heresy, here are:
The Top Ten Commandments of the Star Wars Galaxy
(drumroll please)
#10 --- Thou Shalt Not Use The Force In Vain.
#9 --- Thou Shalt Not Worship Protocol Droids, No Matter How Shiny.
#8 --- Remember The Death Star, And Keep It Holey.
#7 --- Thou Shalt Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
#6 --- Thou Shalt Not Kidnap... I'm Looking At You, Sand People!
#5 --- Honor Thy Mother And, If Applicable, Thy Father.
#4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
#3 --- Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighboring Planet's Senator, Nor Thy Sister, You Perveth.
#2 --- Thou Shalt Not Bear False Wicket.
And the #1 Star Wars Commandment is --- Thou Shalt Not Applaud As Liberty Dies.
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http://blogs.starwars.com/joke/419 |
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striderdemme2005
Expandeduniverse
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:08 AM
#8 --- Remember The Death Star, And Keep It Holey.
LOL, priceless. And I guess I'm a scholar now... 
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Darth_Hiram
A Journey into The Force
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:14 AM
All Hail Stooge! In his great wisdom and mercy he has given us this list!
I love it, Stooge! ... oh wait, thou shalt not know love ... sorry.
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Merryman-Lyon
A Wild Bantha Chase
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:18 AM
#4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
Rather, turn the other cheek. So that it too may be kept Holey.
No, not those cheeks! One hole there is enough.
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MomOf2YoungPadawan
Mamadala's Lair
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:21 AM
These are great!
Honor Thy Mother And, If Applicable, Thy Father. Doh!  ! 
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hansgirl3
Invoking the Squee
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:21 AM
4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
*Many scholars dispute this translation.
Yes, yes, dispute I do!
You Perveth.
Who you callin' a perveth? 
Death Star... holey!!!
Awesome list!!!
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amidalooine
The Emotional Galaxy
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:26 AM
OH
MY
ummmmm....
GAWD?
I don't think I would make it in the Old Republic...I know I've borne false Wicket at least once...
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Rogueish
W.I.E.R.D.
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 10:04 AM
The most obvious one wasn't there:
"Thou shalt try not"
But I was thinking - those freaks back in reality (debatable) who want Jedi as a religion - is this the kind of thing they want?
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Noah773
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 10:11 AM
I don't know why but I really like the term "False Wicket". Great stuff!
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Jade Sabre777
A luminous being, I am...
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 10:27 AM
!!!! Okay I think I'm seriously going to die of laughter! But first I must comment!
I loved 9, 8, 6, 4, 3, and 2 the most!
And so, at the risk of some sorta heresy,
Heresy! Blasphemy! Burn him! Shun him! Or....
"Shoot him!"
"Cut out his tongue!"
"Shoot him, cut out his tongue, and shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard of his. . . ."
Captain Jack is just so helpful!
Rather, turn the other cheek. So that it too may be kept Holey.
No, not those cheeks! One hole there is enough.
Oh my!
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nob01
Oil Bath Bubbles
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 10:45 AM
Excellent - what a nice thing to come home to 
I heard that in areas of Manitoba it is actually illegal to bare a false Wicket, let alone bear one.
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darthgrievious93
Hey, Ho, Let's Go!
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 11:40 AM
What about Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Same Droid- yes, you 3P0!?
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 12:58 PM
Great list, Stoogie!
Thanky!
And I guess I'm a scholar now...
... does that make this blog some sorta theological seminary?
... oh wait, thou shalt not know love ... sorry.
In this case, I'm willing to make an exception. 
No, not those cheeks! One hole there is enough.
Hey now!
Doh!
A deer? A female deer?
Yes, yes, dispute I do!
I always figured you for the brainy type...
ummmmm....
GAWD?
If you say so...
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 12:59 PM
The most obvious one wasn't there:
"Thou shalt try not"
Yikes, you're right!
those freaks back in reality (debatable) who want Jedi as a religion - is this the kind of thing they want?
If so, can I be like a Moses or somethin'? I can totally grow my beard out.
I don't know why but I really like the term "False Wicket".
Feel free to use it on bumper stickers, business cards, etc.
Heresy! Blasphemy! Burn him! Shun him!
Ah, just like home.
Since when was Stooge obvious?
Thanks... I think.
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 12:59 PM
Not if I see you first!
At least I won't be alone!
*Applauds*
Ahoy!
what a nice thing to come home to
I, um, planned it that way...
I heard that in areas of Manitoba it is actually illegal to bare a false Wicket
Canada's always one step ahead of us...
What about Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Same Droid
That's numero eleven?
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RiverTam
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 1:57 PM
#4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
But it's a mite fuzzy on the subject of kneecaps...
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Darth Rex0
So be it....
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 2:52 PM
Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighboring Planet's Senator, Nor Thy Sister, You Perveth.
Whooops. Can you claim ignorance to the laws?
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ketal13
HanAnWan
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 3:07 PM
#7 --- Thou Shalt Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
Lust is okay though, right???
#3 --- Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighboring Planet's Senator, Nor Thy Sister, You Perveth.
--Obviously, my favorite. Excellent job on the Commandments Master Stooge.
in areas of Manitoba it is actually illegal to bare a false Wicket,
Only in the extreme North, where the bare Wicket could actually freeze off.
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scott2sith
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 3:20 PM
And the #1 Star Wars Commandment is --- Thou Shalt Not Applaud As Liberty Dies.
I really like the last one there stoogie. It has alot of power in it. But umm, about the ahh thou not shoot first thing....you were kidding right??? 
I mean...come on, that doesnt seem fair. Are you sure you didnt make a typo and it was thou shalt not shout first.
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gencrs
Technical Manuals from The GFFA
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 3:25 PM
Great List, Stooge, but for some reason, I always seem to miss reading #1 until about half-way through reading the comments.
#4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.* By far, my favorite!
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rivet head
WILL TYPE STAR WARS BLOG FOR FOOD!
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 3:42 PM
Clearly these are Old (testament) Data Tapes commandments. The New Data Tapes commandments were given by the Chosen One himself:
"You shall love the Lord Vader with all thy heart, with all thy mind, with all thy soul."
and
"I give you a new commandment: love one another, as I have loved you. No, it's because I'm so in love with YOU."
Please make these additions to the KSIV.*
* King Stooge International Version
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Captain Peabody
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 5:39 PM
Blasphemy! Let the one called Stooge hereby be executed by the cleaving of his head from his body through the wielding of an AXE by a sanctioned official of the court, or AXEMAN.
#4 --- Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
*Does not apply to Scoundrels
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leia19886
Someone get this big walking carpet out of my way ...
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 6:22 PM
Blashphemy! Let the one called Stooge hereby be executed by the cleving of his head
from his body through the weilding of an AXE by a sanctioned official of the court, or AXEMAN.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We love our Stooge!! YOU can't kill him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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zach starwalker
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 7:04 PM
I heard that in areas of Manitoba it is actually illegal to bare a false Wicket
Canada's always one step ahead of us...
you know it. they already have wild hogs on pay perveiw . even the dollar now. god that screwed things up. one day we get change back the next you have to pay extra.
reminds me of this
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ketal13
HanAnWan
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 7:06 PM
love one another, as I have loved you. No, it's because I'm so in love with YOU."
Aw Rivethead!! You just made me spit my peanuts all over my keyboard!!! LMAO!!
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ewanandhaydenfan5
I Have You Now!
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 7:11 PM
Honor Thy Mother And, If Applicable, Thy Father.
LMAO!
love one another, as I have loved you. No, it's because I'm so in love with YOU."
Aw Rivethead!! You just made me spit my peanuts all over my keyboard!!!
Between the two of you and Stooge, I haven't been able to keep any food in my mouth while reading this!
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 8:25 PM
But it's a mite fuzzy on the subject of kneecaps...
Ha!
Thou shalt not this, thou shalt not know that,
Reminds me of the third grade...
Whooops. Can you claim ignorance to the laws?
Sure! I'm told it's bliss.
Lust is okay though, right???
Lust, which some would consider unconditional love, is encouraged...
about the ahh thou not shoot first thing....you were kidding right???
Didja see the asterisk? And the first comment?
I wonder who is the more guilty, the sinner or the one who reads the sinners jokes and laughs.
Whichever one I am, that's bound to be it.
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 8:25 PM
for some reason, I always seem to miss reading #1 until about half-way through reading the comments.
It's kind of a throwaway, anyway.
"I give you a new commandment: love one another, as I have loved you. No, it's because I'm so in love with YOU."
Too funny!
Let the one called Stooge hereby be executed by the cleaving of his head from his body through the wielding of an AXE by a sanctioned official of the court, or AXEMAN.
I know I should be scared, but for some reason, all I can think is...
AXEMAN! Nananananananananananananananana AXEMAN!
We love our Stooge!! YOU can't kill him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes! Yes! To leia19886, you listen!
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 8:26 PM
This is the one that gets you banished to wander the Dune Sea for forty standard cycles, right?
Be careful not to step in any sarlacc, though. Worse than Bantha poodoo!
they already have wild hogs on pay perveiw
It truly is the land of opportunity...
reminds me of this
It aint a video, but it'll do.
You just made me spit my peanuts all over my keyboard!!!
You nut!
I haven't been able to keep any food in my mouth while reading this!
Have you tried closing it?
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jkthunder
Seven Pieces
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:26 PM
Thou Shalt Not Applaud As Liberty Dies.
Not even thunderously?
... and someone lend gencrs a pair of reading glasses for Stooge's jokes
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Darth Rex0
So be it....
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 9:35 PM
Lust, which some would consider unconditional love, is encouraged...
Stooge, that maybe one of the funniest comments to a comment I've ever read. If I was drinking something while reading that, I would have spit it out all over my keyboard.
Really, who does that anyway?
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 08, 2007 10:23 PM
Not even thunderously?
Okay, in that case, it's allowed.
Stooge, that maybe one of the funniest comments to a comment I've ever read.
Thanks, but looking back on it now, I realize that I totally botched that quote. Whoops.
Really, who does that anyway?
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Blizzard Two
LET'S BLOW THIS THING AND GO HOME...!
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 6:33 AM
Ooh, shiny.
#10 --- Thou Shalt Not Use The Force In Vain.
So, levitating beer across the room is no-no?
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germanspeakingjedi 235
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 7:47 AM
That was the best top ten yet!!!
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JediMelindaWolf
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 8:15 AM
These were so great, Stooge!!!!
You have picked up my spirits! Not that they were sagging on the floor, mind you. Still . . .
Thou Shalt Not Shoot First.*
Ah, the asterisk. There's always got to be one in every crowd!
Have a great day!
MTFBWY
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ARCtrooper46
Soysauce's Rants and Raves
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 8:38 AM
The foundation of society finally revealed.
Awesome Top 10!
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greenandwhitejedi
Bar 66
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 9:43 AM
Well, if we don't hear from you again, we'll know that you've been struck down by the righteous and frankly long-overdue judgement of the Lord.
If we do hear from you again, I'll PM the Lord and see what the hold-up is.
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JawaJoey
Return of the Jawa
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 12:00 PM
Bwahahaha! Brilliant
I almost died laughing from #5. 3 was a close second.
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 2:38 PM
Heresy has never been more fun.
That can't be true...
Firefly.
Ha!
So, levitating beer across the room is no-no?
I don't make the rules, just break 'em.
Best four years of my life....
Ahoy!
That was the best top ten yet!!!
If you say so...
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The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
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date Posted: Aug 09, 2007 2:39 PM
Ah, the asterisk. There's always got to be one in every crowd!
I try to be that one.
The foundation of society finally revealed.
Ah yes, a Revelation. That's what this is.
If we do hear from you again, I'll PM the Lord and see what the hold-up is.
Don't bug him on my account.
I almost died laughing from #5.
Thanks. It was my fave, too.
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