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Star Wars Joke-A-Day

by: The Stooge

date posted: May 19, 2009 5:24 AM

Top Ten Time #41

I saw The Phantom Menace thirteen times in the theater... twelve screenings during its original theatrical run, and once during its charity re-release in December of 1999. What can I say? I was in college, I had waited for the movie my whole life, and I had zero interest in seeing Will Smith's Wild Wild West. And besides, I'm sure there are plenty of fans who'd read this and think, "Thirteen times? That's nothing!"

Seeing one movie so often in a short span of time was an odd experience. At least once during every screening (with the exception of the first), my mind would drift away from the plot and dialogue and I'd find myself concentrating on some silly, inconsequential detail. And so, here's a journal of some of those thoughts, in the form a list.

Presenting...

My Top Ten Reactions Upon Viewing The Phantom Menace

#10 --- (sixth screening) Is it secret place or sacred place? Jar Jar needs muy muy subtitles.

#9 --- (tenth screening) Great, Darth Maul just made a four year-old cry. Where the hell are this kid's parents?

#8 --- (third screening) Sheezus, look at him next to Nute! Darth Maul is tiny!

#7 --- (ninth screening) Why would Nute Gunray care if Naboo is a democracy? Sio Bibble, you so crazy.

#6 --- (second screening) Now that I've seen this movie twice in one weekend, Natalie Portman is the closest thing I have to a girlfriend.

#5 --- (seventh screening) What a scene! Jake Lloyd's performance is really pretty good!

#4 --- (eighth screening) Ugh, what a scene. Jake Lloyd's performance is kinda weak.

#3 --- (fourth screening) Okay, Darth Sidious isn't in the credits, but Jabba the Hutt is. George Lucas, you so crazy.

#2 --- (thirteenth screening) Is it midnight? Did I just turn 21? While watching Episode I?

And my #1 Phantom Menace response was --- (fifth screening) Ooooh here it comes here it comes here it comes! Pan into Palpatine's giant shnozz........... NOW!

http://blogs.starwars.com/joke/887

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amidalooine
The Emotional Galaxy

date Posted: May 19, 2009 8:08 AM

Awesome!!!

Where the hell are this kid's parents?

A movie goer's staple. I believe I uttered that watching Star Trek on Mother's Day...I don't think it had anything to do with Darth Maul, though I suppose he could be one of those Easter eggs I'm hearing about.

Natalie Portman is the closest thing I have to a girlfriend.

Hubba hubba

you so crazy

Today's secret words! Or sacred words. Hmmm.

Pan into Palpatine's giant shnozz........... NOW!

I'm fairly certain that everyone had that reaction. I remember that one well!!

	leia19886 Someone get this big walking carpet out of my way ...
date Posted: May 19, 2009 9:28 AM where the hell are the kids parents? I uttered that when I went to see Watchman. Yes Watchman. I don't know what the mother was thinking. as for the rest of the list: ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	nob01 Oil Bath Bubbles
date Posted: May 19, 2009 9:53 AM I will be watching your career with great interest. Great list, pal.

	Yodafett117
date Posted: May 19, 2009 10:03 AM And the closest thing we get to bikini scene in this trilogy is 3PO' "parts showing". Iconic.

	Darth Rex0 So be it....
date Posted: May 19, 2009 12:41 PM I saw it thirteen times in the theater too! Cool or are we complete losers. Don't answer that. #11. "You were banished because you were clumsy?"--still made me laugh out loud the 13th time. McGreggor just sounds so funny when he says that.

	FAN4YRS A Rebel's Ramblings
date Posted: May 19, 2009 1:54 PM I'm not sure how to react to your reactions.

	Darth_Hiram A Journey into The Force
date Posted: May 19, 2009 4:33 PM As I was reading this, my mind drifted to the thought that's it's been ten years already. Great list Stooge!

	jedigal123
date Posted: May 19, 2009 4:55 PM lolz this is hialrious

	Corterville Yoda's House of Pancakes
date Posted: May 19, 2009 6:30 PM I always wondered why Qui-Gon tells Jar Jar, "You own my scottish kilt," right after he first saved his life on Naboo.

	Qui-Tom Servo loves Padme You Must Unlearn What You Have Learned
date Posted: May 19, 2009 6:42 PM That takes me back to the heady days of 1999 when it seemed like the only reason I went to a movie theater was to watch Star Wars. Those were great times.

	nob01 Oil Bath Bubbles
date Posted: May 19, 2009 7:20 PM If we're discussing misheard lines - some of you may know my bro-in-law, Paul, AKA Darth Kerfuffle. He admitted to me the other day that for the last 30 years he thought 3PO said "We'll be smashed into Huno's Mutt!" on board the Tantive IV. He always wondered why Huno's Mutt never appeared in the EU. He will be so happy I shared this with you.

	The Viridian Saber Virtual Unrealities (A victim of Order 66.)
date Posted: May 19, 2009 7:42 PM 11. Wow, you can get seasick trying to watch Qui-Gon walk. The funny thing is that I'm not kidding.

	zach starwalker
date Posted: May 19, 2009 8:28 PM Am I the only one that doesnt count how many times I've seen the movies? I have only even seen Episode 2 and 3 in theaters once. Everything else was pretty much before my time. I might have seen episode 1 but I dont remember.

The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day

date Posted: May 20, 2009 5:25 AM

A movie goer's staple. I believe I uttered that watching Star Trek on Mother's Day.

That one I almost get... some clueless dad takes his kid out to give mom some space on her big day.

I uttered that when I went to see Watchman. Yes Watchman.

Now that is horrifying!

I will be watching your career with great interest.

Great! You hiring?

And the closest thing we get to bikini scene in this trilogy is 3PO' "parts showing".

Reminds me of one of my fave lims. <----Shameless Blug Alert!

The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day

date Posted: May 20, 2009 5:25 AM

I saw it thirteen times in the theater too! Cool or are we complete losers.

Ummmmmmmmmm...

#11. "You were banished because you were clumsy?"--still made me laugh out loud the 13th time. McGreggor just sounds so funny when he says that.

He was totally underrated in TPM. And talk about a tough role to walk into!

I'm not sure how to react to your reactions.

Is "hushed reverence" too much to hope for?

As I was reading this, my mind drifted to the thought that's it's been ten years already.

I know! I'm trying not to feel like a geezer.

lolz this is hialrious

Thank you!

The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day

date Posted: May 20, 2009 5:26 AM

I always wondered why Qui-Gon tells Jar Jar, "You own my scottish kilt," right after he first saved his life on Naboo.

Love that Neeson accent.

That takes me back to the heady days of 1999 when it seemed like the only reason I went to a movie theater was to watch Star Wars. Those were great times.

They were... I somewhat regret not enjoying it more. So many of my memories were about defending TPM from the haters.

He admitted to me the other day that for the last 30 years he thought 3PO said "We'll be smashed into Huno's Mutt!" on board the Tantive IV.

Ha! Since we're on the subject, I always swore that an Ewok said "That guy's wise" after 3PO began speaking their language.

	The Stooge Star Wars Joke-A-Day
date Posted: May 20, 2009 5:26 AM 11. Wow, you can get seasick trying to watch Qui-Gon walk. It's the mullet, waving back and forth like that... Am I the only one that doesnt count how many times I've seen the movies? I have only even seen Episode 2 and 3 in theaters once. Sounds like you did count. And frankly, I also would have stopped had it only been once.

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