We often wonder what our favorite characters were really thinking in various situations. Here's my take on what Luke was really thinking in The Empire Strikes Back:

A Still Moment in a Galaxy Far, Far Away


"You will go to the Dagobah system".

I'll go WHERE???? Wait a minute---Ben! Doggonnit, don't you wink out on me!!

"BEN!"

Oh crud. Now what do I do? Out in the middle of freakin' no where, freezing my lightsaber off, and having hallucinations of a dead guy, telling me to go find a Jedi Master.............Man, I'm sleepy!




"There's nothing wrong, R2, I'm just setting a new course".

Mind your own business, you tin can.


"We're not gonna regroup with the others. We're going to the Dagobah System."

Yes, you heard me!


**sigh** "Yes, R2?"

What now????


(reads control panel's translation of R2's question) **Laughs**
"That's alright, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."

What---do you think I'm stupid? And have you turn the ship around your first chance? Yeah, right!




"Yep, that's it, Dagobah."

What a hell hole!!


"No, I'm not going to change my mind about this. I'm not picking up any cities or technology. Massive life-form readings, though. There's something alive down there."

Hmmm, on second thought.......


(X-Wing begins to shudder as the extreme atmosphere of Dagobah locks the controls.)


"I know, I know! The scopes are all dead. I can't see a thing! Just hang on, I'm going to start the landing cycle."

What have I gotten my self in to? Should I really have listened to R2? Well, I'm not going to let him think he's right. Nosirree. How bad can this be?


***CRASH***

Okay, it's bad. **exhale** At least I'm all in one piece.


(Flips open the canopy to get a look around)

Awww, Crap! I'm in the middle of a @#^&* swamp!


(wipes hand across face and chunks gloves into cockpit)

Son of a *****!!! How the Kessel could I let this happen? Okay, Luke, calm down. Sitting here isn't gonna get the ship unstuck. I'd better get out and take a look around.


(climbs out of X-Wing onto the nose of the ship, which is partially submerged in the murky water)

Man....how am I gonna get out of this one? Where's Han to come rescue me when I need him? I'm stuck in this hell hole while he's with her! Dammit! Why didn't I make my move when I had the chance? **sigh** I wonder what she's doing right now?

(hears R2 behind him)

Well, THAT'S all I need!


"No, R2, you stay put. I'll have a look around."

You are worse than a kid, not minding.


(the ship shifts in the water and R2 falls off)
"R2?"

Threepio was right! That little droid is causing me nothing but trouble!


"R2! Where are you? R2!"

R2????


(sees him poke his "viewer" out of the water)

**sigh**"You be more careful!"

I am so going to deactivate you when this is all over!



"R2" (points) "That way."

(leaves ship and climbs to shore; turns back just in time to see a large sea monster swallow R2)

Nooooooooooooo!!!


(draws blaster)
"R2!"

(runs to other side of swamp, blaster still drawn; sees sea monster spit R2 out, R2 flies through air)

Wow, he really got some air! He's flyin'!


(looks around for R2, finally hears him in the distance)

I can't believe I'm saying this....keep beeping, keep beeping.....There you are!


(finds him upside down in the muck)
"Oh no. Are you all right?" (lifts him up) "Come on."

Holy Wampa, he's heavy!


"You were lucky to get out of there. Anything broken?"

I thought you were a goner! I'm really surprised you didn't bust a motivator or something.


(R2 beeps)

"If you're saying coming here was a bad idea, I'm beginning to agree with you."

Oh, did I say that out loud?


**sigh** "R2, what are we doing here? It's like....something out of a dream or.....I don't know"

How do I always manage to get myself into these things?


(cleans muck from R2's dome)

I could really use some of my tools from the ole homestead right about now.


"Maybe I'm just going crazy."

R2 is fitting me for a straight jacket as we speak.


(muck pours from top of R2)

Oh, gross! Dude! You could have given me some warning!



Then again, I might be way off base on what he was thinking.
Have a great week, everyone!

GB


For more "Still Moments in a Galaxy Far, Far Away" please visit the Official PLB Fan Fiction Club at: http://fanficforbloggers.blogspot.com