I'll begin by admitting I'm probably going to alienate some people with this blog. But, no matter--I am vehemently anti-spoiler. In fact, I struggle to understand the allure of spoilers.

There are some fans, though, who claim not only to like spoilers, but act as though a spoiled viewing of a film is simply another way to view it, even a superior way to see it.

I can't understand this. Storytellers carefully craft their stories so as to reveal certain elements at just the right moment, allowing to the story to foreshadow, pull reversals, build suspense, and surprise viewers in just the right ways.

Knowing beforehand a simple fact like "Darth Maul kills Qui-Gon," and knowing it completely out of context, ruins that in a number of ways. For one, it doesn't allow the storyteller to tell the story as he or she sees fit. For another, it gives you preconceived notions about the event, unattached to any of the dramatic build-up. These notions can greatly alter how a person views the event. And no matter how it alters that person's views, good or bad, it does not allow the story to affect the viewer appropriately.

Don't get me wrong--I'm a big fan of speculation. But a huge component of that is that when speculating, you don't know if you're right or not. You're guessing about where the clues lead, but it should based solely upon clues the storyteller has intentionally put in your hands. I mean, a viewer naturally speculates while viewing a movie--a sense of suspense is the feeling of wondering, "Is [bad thing] going to happen to [character]?"

I also have nothing against watching trailers or reading official teaser information, since I trust that these are crafted equally carefully to give away only what the storyteller wants to give away. There's a reason the "I am your father" line didn't appear in the trailer for The Empire Strikes Back, and a reason why blurbs on the back of books don't tell you which key characters are going to die.

I think I first became so ardently anti-spoiler shortly after seeing Attack of the Clones. I was pretty neutral to spoilers in the build-up to that film, not seeking them out, but not necessarily avoiding them, either. But a few weeks before seeing the film, I saw a lightsaber in a toy store labeled "Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus." I didn't think about it until maybe a month after seeing the film, but my viewing could have been drastically different if I hadn't already known with certainty that Count Dooku was a Sith. Drastically different, and in my opinion, more enjoyable.

Fast-forward to Episode III. I had decided long before this film's release to avoid spoilers as much as possible. But I was amazed at how hard this became in the final weeks before May 19, 2005. A friend asked me at one point, "You know how Dooku dies, right?" I answered, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do," fairly certain that Anakin would kill him, and wanting the conversation to end. But he continued, "You know he gets beheaded by Anakin?" BANG. Sinking feeling. Ugh. Didn't want to know that.

But at least this friend apologized a lot afterwards. The worst was a kid in my grade who chased me around the theater for the better part of an hour before the midnight showing of Revenge of the Sith. I had made it three years, two days, and twenty-three hours since the release of Attack of the Clones trying hard to be spoiler-free. And now, with an hour till release time, I had to make sure I stayed out of earshot of someone who had made it his personal mission to try and ruin that experience for me, if possible. (I admit, "chased me around the theater" is a bit over-dramatic. But he did want to spoil me, and I did have to make an effort to avoid him.)

Ironically enough, it was this same guy who prompted me to write this blog. Last Thursday night, I showed up at my home theater to catch the 9:15 viewing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I knew this guy was in the 7:00 showing, and told me girlfriend, "Watch, when [guy] comes out, he's going to try to spoil the movie for me." Sure enough, as he exited the theater--I was right up near the front of the line, waiting to get in--he leaned toward me and said, "All I'm going to say is, at the end--"

But that was as far as he made it. My hand had flown up, covered his mouth, and pushed him backwards. So I'm happy to say, Indy IV was a relatively unspoiled film for me.

Now, I've heard the arguments for spoilers. "It's just an alternative way to view the film. You like seeing it without knowing anything, and I like seeing it with some information."

B.S.

There is no way I can imagine that viewing a spoiled movie is as enjoyable as seeing it unspoiled. Watching Obi-Wan and Anakin duel in Revenge of the Sith and knowing that I really didn't know how the duel would end (besides the obvious factors), was so unbelievably worth three years of avoiding spoilers. There is no way a spoiled viewer could have come close to that level of enjoyment.

Besides, my second viewing was a spoiled viewing, as was my reading of the Revenge of the Sith novelization. So I still got the "pleasure" of a spoiled viewing, even after getting it unspoiled. (I could see an argument that a person would rather their reading of the novelization was unspoiled than their viewing of the movie, and thus they read the novel, but this is far different than claiming one prefers a spoiled viewing of the movie.)

My feeling on spoilers isn't just limited to movies, either--I was incredibly upset when I read in the Books, Comics, and Television Questions thread who died in Sacrifice (posted without spoiler tags), but loved my spoiler-free discovery of who Darth Krayt was in Legacy #15 (for evidence of how much I love speculation, though, see this blog).

Frankly, I think there are two reasons people do go for spoilers, despite the fact that it makes that first viewing less enjoyable.

First of all, I think some spoiled people simply don't have the control to wait for the official release. They want to know what happens, and they can't wait another year; they want to know now. This comes in varying degrees--some want to know badly enough that they work hard to seek out spoilers; others simply can't help but click on a link that promises to give the spoiler-filled answer to a question about the upcoming story. But either way, it's a lack of self-control.

The second type of person who reads spoilers is the kind who needs knowledge. These type doesn't like the idea that some people out there no something about the upcoming story that they don't. This can also take the more sinister form of the person who wants a spoiler so they can go, "Ha! Now I have insider knowledge that most people don't!" While I don't think this is the most prominent type of spoiled person--far from it--this is probably the type of person that has turned me off so much to the spoiled crowd. And they do exist--my friend who try so hard to spoil Episode III for me comes to mind, as does the maker of a video on YouTube I've seen where said individual drives past a line of Harry Potter fans waiting for the release of the 6th book while announcing loudly and repeatedly which major character dies in that book, and at which character's hands.

In the end, I can honestly see no real advantage to being spoiled, except for short-term benefits that result as a lack of self-control. But I am probably biased. I never open my Christmas presents early, and love the suspense of them sitting there for days or weeks before I can open them. (In fact, my girlfriend's best friend once gave me a Christmas present at Thanksgiving to test my resolve. When Christmas Day finally rolled around, I opened it to find a bag of dead goldfish and a note that read, "These were alive when I wrapped this present. You need to learn to break rules sometimes.")

If you're someone who gobbles up spoilers, please, tell me why. If you're anti-spoiler, I'd love to hear from you, too.