OK, I've decided to attempt a parody of the Star Wars saga, after reading the Star Bores parody (hopefully I can come up with something a little better). And yes, in all likelihood it'll just be silly names and beating the poodoo out of Jar Jar, but here goes.

Here's a little preview of part of Chapter the Penultimate from Stellar Conflicts Episode the Third: Revenge of the Creeping Fear of the Pithed.


CHAPTER the PENULTIMATE: The Rise of Dark Bagel

....

Dark Bagel ripped his manacled hands from their restraints, stepping awkwardly onto the cold floor of the rehab chamber. Stepping forth, he raised his arms, filled his mechanical lungs and said;

"Noo-o."

After a moment or two, he lowered his arms. The half-broken arm of the Galactic Cutter-Upper fell from its shoulder, and hit the floor with a dull thud. Tumbleweed blew in from an open window.

"Um," Bagel said.

Lord Hideous cleared his throat tactfully. "What, exactly, was that, Lord Bagel?"

"Er, it was-hurr...cuhh-my blood-curdling scream of pure rage-hurr...cuhh-My Lord." He coughed.

"Ah. I see," Hidious said. There really wasn't anything else he could say.

"Um," Bagel said. "Er, should I-hurr...cuhh-try it again? Hurr...cuhh."

"That might be wise, Lord Bagel. But first. Lord Bagel?"

"Hurr...cuhh. Yes, Master?"

"Use the Caps Lock," Hidious proclaimed. Bagel pushed a button on his chestplate (causing a little green light to appear in the corner of the box), cleared his throat with a "Hurr...cuhh", then tried,

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


* * * *

On Nacho, in the conference room of the Tentacle Eye-Vee, Yogurt and Gobi-Tan shuddered as a dark shadow passed through the Horse.

"Feel that, did you, Master Gobi-Tan?" Yogurt enquired.

"Yes, Master. It felt like a great disturbance in the Horse."

"Hmm," Yoda closed his eyes, probing deep inside the Horse. "like the time you saw your Master, Hippy-Man Gin, killed by Dark Snugglepuff, it did.

"Oh, you mean the time I said, Nooooo!" Gobi-Tan recalled with some satisfaction.

"Yes, but in Caps Lock and 24-point font, this one was." Gobi-Tan stroked his beard in shame.