Everyone has heard about or seen this past week's Dr. Phil episode with a hubby who has a HUGE SW collection and his wife who was none too thrilled about it. I saw it when I was on an afternoon break at work.

Dr. Phil, when he could keep a straight face, told our collector that he needed to balance out his time and money. He said that one day Mr. Collector was going to wish he hadn't spent so much money on SW stuff. He also said that the wife needs to find an appreciation for SW (but Dr. Phil mispronounced "Leia").

Look, I have no experience counseling people. However, Dr. Phil isn't a licensed therapist in California where he does his show and neither am I. Moreover, I know collecting and I know fandom, so that makes me more of an expert than he is!

If our collector is reading this, here's my advice to him:

1. This is all your fault for marrying a non-understanding mundane. When you have a passion that becomes more of a lifestyle, it's your duty to find someone who can adjust to it if she doesn't share in it herself. Otherwise, it becomes a contest of who's going to change who: either you'll want to make her into a fellow fan or she'll try to get you out of the lifestyle. Both of you will fail, except at making each other miserable.

2. You can't make her like SW, but you can try to make things tolerable for her. Work out a budget that you'll stick to for buying your SW loot. Keep your collection room neat and clean. Let her have some room to collect stuff she likes. If she's willing to go to SW Weekends or Celebrations, make the time (and money) to see and do things she likes too.

One more thing. I had a newly-wed co-worker once who was a Boston Red Sox fan. You know there's only one kind of Red Sox fan: a total fanatic. He thought his wife wouldn't mind if he went to Boston Easter weekend to see the Red Sox play the Yankees. Well, she did mind spending her first Easter as a married woman alone. NEVER put your fan obsession ahead of holidays, anniversaries, and family stuff, EVER.

3. Dude, most women like to cuddle. NEVER tell her it's "boring," especially on national television. Grow to like it, fanboy.

Here's what I would tell the Mrs.:

1. This is all your fault for marrying a fanboy. MEN DON'T CHANGE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM CHANGE! When you noticed while you were dating that this guy had a crapload of SW stuff, you should've known right there and then what you were getting into. An adult SW fan is NOT going to grow out of it. He's had 30 years to grow out of it and he hasn't. Suck it up!

2. Get a Slave Leia costume. He may then feel like cuddling with you more often.

My work here is done.