Star Wars: Blogs | Moose Poodoo | May the Fourth Be With Her

Moose Poodoo

by: The Dark Moose

date posted: May 04, 2007 9:01 AM | updated: May 04, 2007 9:07 AM

May the Fourth Be With Her

I have a friend of mine who, sadly, wastes her birthday every year doing...you know...birthday stuff. Never pops any of the 6 DVD's or any of the Clone Wars cartoons in. Not once. Doesn't even polish her lightsaber hilt repllica.

Because she doesn't have one. OK? Starting to get the picture?

Mind you, her birthday is today. And...like...I think she's even 30 or something. Or damned close.

Anyway, irony of ironies, she's one of the worst Star Wars fans ever. I mean it.

She doesn't know the designation or manufacturer of the Millenium Falcon. Nope. She doesn't know exactly what a nerf is, or who herds said nerfs.

She doesn't even know where the shield generators are on an Imperial Star Destroyer. Never mind which class - she doesn't know on any of them.

She doesn't know from which planet crystals are mined for Jedi padawans to make their lightsabers.

Get this - if you were to ask her to act as "Teras-Chi" in a debate, she wouldn't get the joke.

She doesn't know a single one of the Jedi fighting styles, and she thinks the word "Sith" is just misspelled.

She frequently confuses Obi-Wan Kenobi with Han Solo.

She has NO idea how many Death Stars there were. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know what they look like. She thinks Ewoks and Wookiees are interchangeable.

She once....and this hurts multiple fan bases...she once asked if Doctor Spock was "in this episode"...

She thinks the Emperor was Luke's father. I mean really.

She thinks Darth Vader is a robot.

She thinks Star Wars is about "space ships flying around in the future".

"R3-D-Fivethousandorwhatever" is as close as we'll ever get to Artoo's name, and she thinks he's the "tall goldy one".

I defy you to get her to pronouce "Yuuzhan Vong" correctly.

She has no idea who Red 5 was, she has no clue Darth Maul is a Zabrak, she couldn't point out Naboo on a Galactic map if her life depended on it, she's got no clue what a repulsorlift is for, she thinks a force-bond is something you do with a vice in woodshop, she couldn't tell you the difference between a Hyperdrive and a sublight engine, she thinks a parsec is a measurement of time instead of an expression of trigonometric parallax (..psh...no - yeah...I'm not joking, she really thinks that), she thinks Stormtroopers are comprised entirely of non-cloned recruits, and get this...

She thinks babies come from mommy bellies.

Seriously. What a nerd.

Anyway, Lindsey - May the Fourth Be With You :0)

DM out

http://blogs.starwars.com/moosepoodo/101

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	Jade Sabre777 A luminous being, I am...
date Posted: May 04, 2007 9:45 AM Gasp! Noooooooooooo!!!! Actually, I must admit I don't know a couple of these myself (Teras-Chi???)...must be a lack of much EU experience so far.... I'm getting there, though!

DJ Maul: Got Feet?
DJ Maul's Dancin' Cantina Party

date Posted: May 04, 2007 9:56 AM

oh that poor girl, so deprived, so unaware...just think of all that she is missing OUT on!

so consumed she is by life I suppose...career, boyfriend or husband, extra carricular activities such as hiking or bike riding or maybe visiting museums or studing history...I mean REAL history, stuff that actually HAPPENED...that she is blind to the REAL joys in life.

Learning to speak Huttese...debating who shot first...turning our basements into huge toy shrines...writing bligs full of obscure refferences only true hard core SW Geeks would get...

that poor, poor girl.

Happy B-day to her anyway!

	nob01 Oil Bath Bubbles
date Posted: May 04, 2007 10:46 AM She thinks Darth Vader is a robot. He's not?

	The Dark Moose Moose Poodoo
date Posted: May 04, 2007 10:53 AM He's not? No! She even thinks Yoda is a puppet. A Puppet?!

	Sarlacc-Pitt Slowly Digested Over A Thousand Blogs
date Posted: May 04, 2007 10:54 AM She thinks babies come from mommy bellies. That is so silly...... everyone knows they're brought by mynocks. I worked with a woman who, when ROTS came out, said... "Is that the one with Mark Hamill?" still groaning Nice entry!

	The Dark Moose Moose Poodoo
date Posted: May 04, 2007 3:33 PM It's sad, I tellya. But then again, it's probably to be expected. Dunno - I'm just playing Teras-Chi. DM out

	Irwin03 CDS: The Art Side of the Force
date Posted: May 05, 2007 6:45 AM She once....and this hurts multiple fan bases...she once asked if Doctor Spock was "in this episode"... GASP!!! Falls over in dead faint Unexpected this is. And unfortunate. She's missing out on everything that fuels the average bloggers life! How does she survive!?

	JediMelindaWolf Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
date Posted: May 05, 2007 9:24 AM The Emperor Luke's father? Can you hear him cackle in his raspy voice, "Luke, I am your father."? Perish the thought! MTFBWY

MomOf2YoungPadawan
Mamadala's Lair

date Posted: May 06, 2007 2:46 PM

LOL!! These are great!!

I once saw a "fan" dressed as ANH Princess Leia for Halloween...carrying a lightsaber! But not just any lightsaber...it was Darth Maul's double-bladed lightsaber! Ack! When I questioned her she just said "Well, Leia was a Jedi, right?" Ummmm... I wanted to say "Well, not until the EU...many, many years down the road...and she certainly didn't carry a Sith blade!" But I just nodded, smiled and went on my way....oye!!

She thinks Darth Vader is a robot. Well, he is more machine now than man, you know...the whole twisted and evil thing?!? LOL!!

Ewoks and Wookiees are interchangeable. About as much as jock straps and pantyhose, I suppose

	Tu®gon Gondolin
date Posted: May 29, 2007 3:42 PM No! She even thinks Yoda is a puppet. A Puppet?! He looks more like a muppet anyway...

Tu®gon
Gondolin

date Posted: May 29, 2007 3:43 PM

I once saw a "fan" dressed as ANH Princess Leia for Halloween...carrying a lightsaber! But not just any lightsaber...it was Darth Maul's double-bladed lightsaber! Ack! When I questioned her she just said "Well, Leia was a Jedi, right?" Ummmm... I wanted to say "Well, not until the EU...many, many years down the road...and she certainly didn't carry a Sith blade!" But I just nodded, smiled and went on my way....oye!!

I think, personally, I would have smacked her over the head with the lightsaber just a little bit.

	gustavom74
date Posted: Jun 16, 2007 6:51 PM is she a SW fan?

	Arrhae Tahl Arrhae's House of Fun
date Posted: Jul 05, 2007 6:41 PM Oh Moosie...she's a keeper.

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