Some people learned all the need to know from Kindergarten. Play-pretty schoolyard flatulence like:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt people
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Flush...

La-dee-da. Personally, Kindergarten taught me four things:

Naptime sucks.
That kid with the hard name smells funny.
Avoid vomit.
Watch out for that mean blonde-haired kid who likes to sneak up on you at recess and kick you in your pineconez...

There is of course a page taken from the SW Fandom bible that dictates everything you need to know you learned from Yoda. Which is fine and all. Don't get me wrong, I like Yoda. But get himself exiled to a slimey mudhole, he did.

So stuff like:
"Do or do not, there is no try"
and
"Unlearn what you have learned"
and
"Patience"

..well that all sort of sounds like it came from a space hippy trapped in the woods, don't it? And while he was busy doing and not trying, couldn't he Force-up some cleaner digs for himself? Nah, I like the old-timer, and maybe Luke learned some cool stuff, but I got my school from Darth McKool.

Yep. Everything I need to know I learned from the Dark Lords of Sithery. Stuff like:

1) First be a learner, then be a master. Of everything.

2) Everyone else is mistaken about a great many things.

3) Compassion will be your undoing.

4) What doesn't kill you leaves you scarred and full of unbridled dark hatred, so you might as well use it.

5) Alter deals to your advantage. Then alter them further.

6) Everyone has a soft spot. For some it's family. Others, it's a mile-deep shaft with no handrails.

7) Wear black. Black is the new black.

8) Accept apologies, but don't let people off the hook easy.

9) Outsourcing is sometimes necessary, so long as they mind the disintigrations.

10) Silence dissent. Reward compliance with fear.

11) Keep your friends close and your enemies choked to death with your mind.

12) Hell yes you can say "there'll be no one to stop us this time!" I mean, if you can't say that at least once, what's the point?

13) Underlings are expendable. That's why they're called underlings.

14) Surround yourself with only the finest. Give them white plastoid armor and weapons while you're at it.

15) To make an omelette, sometimes you gotta blow up some planets.

16) Watch out for young upstarts.

17) People are as clumsy as they are stupid, so sometimes you gotta do things yourself.

18) Patience.

19) Do or do not, there is no try.

20) Flush.

Don't be a chump, kids :0) Or not.

DM out