In the tradition of putting things together that don't belong together, I give you the Battle of Yavin. As performed during Happy Hour by sub-management IT sales twerps.

It's actually a litlle joke I and a couple of friends from work used to play in our younger years, before the dark times...basically when I realized how completey pathetic it made us look.

You know, safety in numbers. So we would crack each other up as we attempted to fulfill the daunting role of being each other's wingman while talking to girls way too good looking and successful for the likes of us. Defense mechanism humor abounds in those situations. And yes, I'm being serious - we really used to do this. A few times. What? Stop looking at me like that.

Anyhoo - This is kinda how it went...

"Dude Ten standing by."

"Dude Seven standing by."

"Dude Three standing by."

"Dude Six standing by."

"Dude Two standing by."

"Dude Five standing by."

"Lock collars in attack position.

"Look at the size of those-!"

"Cut the chatter, Dude Two."

"We're going for the target babe now."

"We're in position. I'm going to cut across the brunettes and try to draw their fire."

"How many girls do you think, Dude Five."

"I'd say about twenty girls. Some at the bar, some in the booths."


And if (when) things started to go a little awry we'd put the nail in the coffin by mumbling:



"The girls...they've stopped talking to us..."

"I can't maneuver!"

"Stay on target."

"We're too close!!"

"Stay on target!"

"Loosen up!!!!"


I always imagined as we skulked away, somewhere, somehow, there were 2 unfortunate girls that we never heard say:


"We've analyzed their attack, girl, and there is a danger. Should I have your ride standing by?"

"Evacuate? On Ladies Night? I think you overestimate their chances!"

But who knows. Ok fine, I know. And you do too. But giving up is not how the game is played, is it? :0)
..

Ok you're still looking at me like that.