After doing some cursory research, I find there are several traditional versions of Haiku structure. The basic version of a Haiku is a 5 - 7 - 5 syllable distribution per line. However, one can choose his or her own path that best suits their needs.

I shall now attempt my obligatory Haikus about Bossk. I find it helps if you have some Traditional Japanese music to accompany these readings.


*ahem*

6/27/05
"We don't need that scum"
He said of bounty hunters
That man made me cry


"Grr-snarfflll" I said
But no one listens to me
I have to go pee


I-G-Eight Eight Jerk
He still owes me 20 bucks
He won't even say hi


I'm so embarrassed
Vader said to hurry up
I forgot my shoes


Hey I wonder if
That "No disintigrations"
Applies to me, too


Oh my god, watch out!
Bossk almost fell off the edge
They built this bridge weird


Yes, I'm Trandoshan
But what no one ever asks -
What gender am I?


Piett doesn't like me
He's Vader's new Admiral
So he won't live long


6/28/05
No one believes me
When I tell them the truth that
I'm not a bald dog


Folks always ask me
When I'm about to kill them
"Dude - what is that smell?"


I don't wear helmets
Because my face is so cool
Fett must be ugly


I wonder if Darth
Would get mad at this meeting
If I raise my hand


I bet Boba tries
His stupid Hide in Junk Trick -
He is so so lame


If I find them first
I might get a cameo
on Bounty Hunters


I'm glad I was asked
To come to this meeting, but
I don't speak Human


Do you guys think I'll
ever be a popular
new action figure?


I hope that Vader
Will be cool and validate
my parking stub, yo


I could have sworn that
when I came on board the ship
Fett had no accent


I had to grow back
my arm again and I thought,
"This job kinda sucks".


Fett did not like it
When I warned him not to go
"lose his head out there"


6/29/05
When I explain that
I'm a Trandoshan hunter
They all say "Tran-what?"


People poke my head
They think it's a rubber mask
And then I shoot them


Lizards are People
But no one ever thinks that
So I shoot them more


Now that we're done here
What do you say if Vader
Takes us out for beer?


When you're Trandoshan
It's very very hard to find
sunglasses that fit


She said "manicure"
I said "you mean, claw-icure?"
She didn't laugh though


Dead or alive, huh?
Well you didn't specify
"not chewed on some"


6/30/2005
I've always liked "Bossk"
Because you can't rhyme with it
No stupid nicknames here


I wonder if that
Needa knows there's a little
Ship stuck to his hull...


People ask me what
All the straps are for on my suit
"For my pants, stupid"


I hope they pay me
In some meat this time because
Empire Credits suck


They have all these clones
And all these Star Destroyers
And they need us, too?


Folks aren't aware that
The cartridges around my legs
Are really Snickers bars


7/1/05
Someday I will be
The Most famous Trandoshan
in Haikus ever


Who is Gene Simmons
And why did this guy copy
my Bossk Unleashed figure?


All the Trandoshans
in Republic Commando
Just seem way too short


IG-Eighty-Eight
Didn't see when I loosened
A few of his nuts


Boba and Vader
Are making too much chit-chat
And thats just not fair


7/3/05
If you look at me
With the eyes of Star Wars fans
I'm not so ugly :0)


7/10/05
If a Trandoshan
kills someone with no witness
Does it make a sound?


What's really cool is
The tubing around my neck
Holds six cans of beer


People often ask
"What's up with your bloodshot eyes"
And I drink more beer


Boba Fett is small
He's skinny and wears knee pads
Think I could take him?


7/25/05
I have big red eyes
At least I think they are red
But I'm color blind


I am so funny
I just totally spit on
This bridge officer


They want Skywalker -
So why are they freaking out
About Han Solo?


I'll go find the ship
But there's no way I'm touching
That Chewbacca guy


I'm late cuz I lost
change in the Imperial
Pop Vending machine


8/23/05
I think that Vader
Is mad all the time because
His codpiece is small


I can't wait to start
So I can find Han Solo.
He's cool. Dead, but cool.


I think that Bousch guy
Walks kinda funny, you know?
Kinda like a chick


These Imp Destroyers
Are always so cold to me
My earbuds are hard


10/5/05
Halloween's coming
Wonder what I should go as?
Maybe a Jawa


You know, I asked for
A pen from that jerk Needa
He Told me "get bent"


Trandoshans are nice
Once you get to know us and
You're not slaves or food


In that X-Box game
called Republic Commando
That Sev looks tasty


12/6/05
Yes, My name is Bossk
That's Bossk with 2 S's for
Shoeless and Sexy


I once shot a man
People say just for snoring
TimeLife books say so


I'm a Trandoshan
And in a steel ship I ride
Wanted, Dead or Alive


Don't ask Rodians
To do a Trandoshan's job
Solo would be toast


Christmas for my folks
Is the same for you except
We eat each other


1/5/06
Happy New Year scum
My resolution is to
Hunt you for money


If I had the Force
Would they call me a crazy
Old Lizard Wizard?


Boba's ship looks like
A really really big shoe
Call it "Boba Foot"


IG-88 is
A big glorified toaster
Holding a blaster


Everyone has a
Helmet on their head so I
Can't hear anything



2/22/06
If Trandoshans had
Cupids on Valentines Day
I'd shoot them all down


I wont go to Hoth
Winter is doin' Murder
To meesa dry skin


Needa is a jerk
But just between you and me
He's got real nice breath


IG-88
Thinks he's so tough but he's not
video game tough


I am the only
Bounty Hunter who's rated
an M for Mature


I heard there's someone
Named Karen Traviss with a
Custom Verpine Gun


3/30/06
Bossk is Trandoshan
And he lives by the ocean
But nothing else rhymes


I bet no one else
Can find a bounty hunter
That runs on all fours


I need a toothpick
I've still got some fugitive
Stuck in my molars


How's it possible
Fett manages to shoot straight
But clones can't hit squat?


Capture them alive?
And no disintigrations?
Way too many rules


1/16/08
It's 2008
And I still don't have any
Shoes on my damn feet


It is difficult
For a Trandoshan to smile
Without any lips


You know what is fun?
Having your own family
For Dinner. yum yum.


I'm better than Fett
Because I never have to
Wear any hair gel


One time, in band camp
I got IG-88
Drunk on motor oil


Hey, Captain Needa
You gonna Needa new face
Call me scum again


Oh man, I forgot
Where I parked the dang Hound's Tooth
Maybe near The Gap






From time to time, I'll update with more random Bossk thoughts as I try to understand this complex and misunderstood creature...

DM out


Note to self: Have these made into a nice scrolling screen saver with drifting text overlaying images of Bossk accompanied by some contemporary jazz, or perhaps Enya.