You might ask yourself "What am I going to do with a $500 inflatable Dark Lord of the Sith"?

A fair question.

But let's not be too hasty, holiday shopper, in dismissing this as a frivolous expenditure. The 9-Foot Tall Inflatable Vader has many uses in work or home environments.

Firstly, it's inflatable. And everyone knows inflatable means quality. You can't just have inflatable products floating around out there without testing them first. It's at the heart of the inflatable product industry to have strict quality control. It simply has to inflate. It can't just lay there on the ground like a big Vader hefty bag. Nor can it wilt, all the while depriving you of the proper menacing Vader effect with that annoying "sqweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeebllppptt" deflating noise. Nor can you have an inflatable Vader that darts about your backyard like a punctured party baloon. No sir, this 9 Foot Tall Inflatable Vader will provide you hours, days even, of blown-up Vader joy.

Secondly, it's 9 Feet Tall. I defy the lot of you to name the last Vader product you bought that was 9 feet tall. Now that's a lotta Vader. The real vader was only a little under 7 feet tall. This one is bigger, wider, and comes complete with a 5 foot long lightsaber. Go ahead, blow up your Vader with pride. When your jerk nextdoor neighbor comes out to inquire about it, you may take the opportunity to point out that your Vader is bigger than his. What's he got, some little 5 inch Vader? You can smack him about the face and shoulders with your giant 9 Foot Tall Vader until he runs home to mama. 5 inches? Psh. Try 108 inches, buddy. Nice try.

Thirdly, it's Vader. It's not some knock-off King Kong inflatable monstrosity from the roof of your local car dealership. This ain't no giant Crazy Inflatable Wiggly Guy from the matress store, either. This is friggin Darth Vader, man. And he's armed. If you were an inflatable Jedi, you'd already be popped and sent packin'. Don't let the fact that he's inflatable put you at ease. The Inflatable Chosen One is the most powerful inflatable Jedi the inflatable Republic has ever known. Inflatable Obi-Wan trained him, only for him to be seduced to the Dark Side of the Inflatable Force. He's inflatable Palpatine's hand of Inflatable Justice, man. He's got his own Inflatable Executor, and if push comes to shove, he'll blow up your Inflatable Planet with an Inflatable Death Star. Don't jack with Inflatable Vader.

Fourthly, it's also Deflatable Vader. They don't mention this in the ad, but this is an important feature. Not only do you get the ominous presence of the Dark Lord, but you have ultimate power over him. You won't have to worry about 9 Foot Tall Inflatable Vader picking you up in your moment of triumph and tossing you into any reactor pits. Not when you know where his inflation stem is. Now that's control. You don't know the power of the Inflatable Dark Side.

Yes, friends, 9 Foot Tall Inflatable Vader is a must have in any serious collection. Wow your friends, strike fear into your enemies, impress the ladies, or just admire the majesty of the Inflatable Scourge of the Jedi all to yourself.

One thing is for certain - the 9 Foot Tall Inflatable Vader doesn't suck.

DM out