
I posed this question last year in a message board thread, and I'm not sure the question has been resolved. What with the advent of SW bloggery (no seasonal pun intended), I now have room to lay out my theories in a more comprehensive form.
Let's look at the Santa facts:
Telepathy:
He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good. But does that a Jedi make?
I mean, yes, let's get past the creepiness imbued in a being that apparently stalks our entire planet collectively. Taken literally, this seems more geared to an argument to deify Santa Claus, and that will be a rude awakening to be sure if the Pearly Gates are in fact made of peppermint sticks. Cuz that would be weird, and living in a candyland toyshop heaven might to start to majorly suck after 3 or so eternities. But I digress.
Taken as more hyperbole, this to me clearly indicates Santa Claus is at least telepathic on a one to one basis. He can sense alertness, emotions, and possible malicious intent.
What this would do for him in, say, a duel with Darth Maul, I've got no clue. Somehow, chucking lumps of coal at him and calling him a bad boy seems ineffective. Let's hope Santa has other abilities.
Speed/Agility:
This rather large man is capable of mad numchuck skillz like nimbleness, speed, dexterity, legendary piloting skills.
"With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.."
I mean...who does that? Anyway, have you ever seen his sleigh? It's configured like some sort of jacked-up organic podracer.
Not to mention, the Jolly Jedi manages to scoot around the world, to every single household, supposedly in 24 hours. Hyperbole? Yes, I think we've again been victimized by creative license. But clearly, he's known for physical speed, and apparently owns a ship equipped with Hyper-deer.
Inter-planetary Aggressive Negotiations:
As seen in this photo brought to us by Wikipedia, Santa Claus is depicted as
bringing peace and order to the planet Mars. By doing so, he has ended the long-standing plans of Mars to subjugate our unknowing planet. Thanks to Santa Claus, Mars now abides by a treaty with an oblivious Earth. I mean, it's obvious. They haven't attacked, have they? You can't argue with that kind of diplomatic prowess.
Appearance:
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
I direct your attention to the attached photo of Ki-Adi Mundi. Ok, forget about the droll little bow mouth, I don't think Mundi could smile if he had 20 hamsters in his pants.
But there are obviously some significant similarities. Santa wears a long pointy hat. Think about it. I don't know what all that means, but hey, maybe Santa is related. Maybe he's Santa Claus Mundi. Dunno.
Battling Evil:
Likewise, we can see that Santa Claus has done numerous battles with the forces of Evil. Take
this flick - aptly titled "Santa Claus", cuz..like...it's about Santa Claus.
In this movie, Santa and Merlin (another suspected Jedi alongside Gandalf, Sauron, Dumbledore, and other white-bearded crazy old wizards) battle none other than Satan himself.
And if Satan's not a Sith, then I'm your aunt's fruitcake.
Santa Mind Trick:
"A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose..."
Can anyone say "I'm not the Seasonal Icon you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along."?
Other Unexplained Powers:
Just a few of Santa's otherworldly properties would be levitation, a freakishly maleable frame that allows him to snake through exhaust vents, extreme mechanical aptitude, communication with animals, heightened senses such as eyesight and hearing, and more.
Coupled with his podracing abilities, speed, and telepathy - he's either one wicked pipedream or he's totally a freakin Jedi, yo.
So, the question remains...
Is Santa a Jedi?
Dunno. But sumpin ain't right about the boy.
DM out