We've all mixed our chocolate and our peanut butter, our cowboy hats and sneakers, our french fries in our milkshakes, our Coldplay and Rage Against the Machine, our brunettes and redheads, our bacon with maple syrup, our Vanilla with our Ice, our stupid friends with smart, our beer with wine, our plaids with solids, our orange with blue, our milk with Pepsi...all of us have this bizarre urge to put things together that by some odd serendipity the co-mingling of qualities manages to compliment one another, much to the horror of our family and friends.

And thusly, I give you the Emperor's Thone Room scene, with Napoleon and Kip Dynamite.

I apologize in advance.


EMPEROR
Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been
expecting you.

Luke peers at the hooded figure defiantly. The Emperor then looks
down at Luke's binders.

EMPEROR
You no longer need those.
Guards, leave us.

The red-cloaked guards turn and disappear behind the elevator.

EMPEROR (to Luke)
I'm looking forward to completing your
training. In time you will call me Master.

LUKE (to Vader)
He hasn't done flippin anything today.

VADER
What?

EMPEROR
Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it
is you who are mistaken...about a great
many things.

VADER (to Luke)
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes, all day. Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter.

Vader extends a gloved hand toward the Emperor, revealing Luke's
lightsaber. The Emperor takes it.

EMPEROR
Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon. Much like your
father's. By now you must know your father
can never be turned from the dark side. So
will it be with you.

LUKE (defiantly)
Fine!

The Emperor laughs.

EMPEROR
Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of
your Rebel fleet.

Luke looks up sharply.

EMPEROR
Yes...I assure you we are quite safe from
your friends here.

Vader looks at Luke.

LUKE
Since when? You have the worst reflexes of all time.

VADER
Try and hit me.

LUKE:
What?

VADER:
I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

The Emperor turns to face Luke.

EMPEROR (angry)
Everything that has transpired has done so
according to my design. (indicates Endor)
Your friends up there on the Sanctuary
Moon...are walking into a trap...

Luke's look darts from the Emperor to Vader...

EMPEROR
You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now....Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant!

LUKE
Such an idiot!

EMPEROR
It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You,
like your father, are now mine!

Luke's eyes are full of rage. Vader watches him.

EMPEROR (laughing)
Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy! Let
the hate flow through you.

VADER
Let me see what your best move is.

LUKE
[Sighs]

[Doorbell Rings]

I'll go get it.

[slaps Vader]

VADER (in pain)
GEEZ!!!

EMPEROR
So be it...Jedi...

And so there ya go. I owe you another 3 to 5 minutes of your time.

DM out