Hey kids! Just a quick entry to let you know I've thrown my name in the hat for Supreme Dark Overlord and Emperor of the First Galactic Empire of the Milky Way.

You might ask "But Dark Moose, there is no First Galactic Empire of the Milky Way - how can you do this?"

To which my answer is simple, and easy - I'll have you beaten and imprisoned.

Now, moving on to my platform:

1) Firstly, after this initial election, you'll never have to have an election again. How's that for one-stop shopping? I am your first and last despot, and there will be no referendums on policies or taxation whatsoever. In fact, I'm replacing the word "election" henceforth with "electrocution" as a subtle reminder toward what will happen to people if they try to have these so-called "elections".

2) Next, I'm eliminating Hyperspace. You heard me. No more Hyperspace, period. No one needs to travel under my regime - you all need to stay home, work, consume, and serve my dark whims. Yes, sure, there is no actual Hyperspace at this time, but I don't want anyone getting any ideas.

3) Casual Fridays.

4) I require all peoples of every race to allign themselves completely with my ideologies and prostrate themselves to my galaxy-spanning supremacy. Some of you will die as an example.

5) Once more the Meese will rule the Galaxy, and we will have..or rather I will have...well...everything.

How to vote for me:

Good question. First, consider yourself conquered. Dismantle your armaments and disband your militaries. All mass-media are now state entities.

Second, refer other nations and peoples to the First Galactic Empire of the Milky Way for subjugation. The first 100 unique races that bend to my iron will can be eligible to receive a "My Culture Was Enslaved By Dark Moose!" beer coozy.

Lastly, send your beautiful women to me. And your beer. And video game consoles and large screeen TV's. And motorcycles and cool 4X4 truck-like vehicles. And some M&M's. And one of those cool remote control cars that like go really fast. And a pony. No...3 ponies. I want 3 ponies with long blue hair. yeah. With sparkly saddles.

..

Anyway, together we can make this the best dictatorship ever! Vote "Yes, I want to be a slave to Dark Moose forever!"

May the Force be with me.

DM out