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Moose Poodoo
date posted: Apr 10, 2006 3:05 PM  |  updated: Apr 11, 2006 10:44 AM
Dark Moose Q&A - All Q's
I love this new feature: StarWars.com Questions & Answers.

Go check it out, its on the main page under updates, and I imagine its under the Community link, too. It's all the compiled questions over the years from the "Ask the Jedi Council" page, now updated into a snazzy new format.

Good stuff in here, too, like "How did the AT-At's get to the surface of Hoth?", and "How old is C3P0, really?", and "What happens to the ladder on Luke's X-Wing?"

They've compiled it into this handy list with a drop down menu, and they take new questions all the time. Sure, it doesn't answer all of my long-standing questions like "Where do babies come from?" and "Why is the sky blue?" and "What are those two monkeys doing?" and "Which direction do I face in an elevator?" But it can't be counted on to know the answer for everything. I mean...it's the Jedi Council. They didn't know a lot of things.

But I do have a lot of saga-related questions that I think still need answers. I'd imagine a lot of these questions remain unanswered for you as well, and I don't see how we're expected to enjoy or understand these movies or books or games without knowing this vital information. It's classic Star Wars, man - they leave out all of the crucial details and you're just left there trying to piece together a bunch of sloppy, disconnected thought fragments. So I say we get this cleared up right here, right now. Here goes:



1) If a stormtrooper fell in just before Solo was iced, why didn't he get frozen with a trooper attached to his lower body?


2) Is it fair to say the Death Star is sort of like God's cigarette lighter?


3) How do you get a call sign like "Wedge", and is it painful?


4) If, in fact, you shaved Chewbacca, would you find a naked Peter Mayhew?


5) C3PO fell asleep twice in A New Hope, and once in Empire Strikes Back, and we was wide awake the rest of the time. Is that why he's cranky?


6) How does the Imperial High Command shake hands, and is this why the Sith have the rule of 2?

"Darth! Moff, May I introduce Darth?"
"Darth. Darth."
"Moff, Darth. Moff"
"Admiral, Moff, Darth. Darth."
"Moff. Moff. Darth. Admiral. General. Darth."
"Admiral. General. Darth. Darth."



7) If the Sarlaac has a big mouth hole in the ground...does that mean there's an...exit on the other side of the planet?


8) What are those two wookiees doing?


9) Remember TK-421 and his buddy that got whacked and their duds stolen when the Falcon was in the Death Star docking bay? ..like..What happened to those guys?
Think about it.


10) Who is the more foolish, anyway - the fool or the fool the follows him?



These are just some loose ends the saga has left us with. Hopefully, we'll see answers to these important questions soon.

Anyways - go check out the StarWars.com Q&A, an interesting, if not sadly incomplete, repository of Star Wars trivia and useful info..

Except for where babies come from.

DM out

  Rive Caedo
Rive's Uncharted Settlements
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 3:27 PM
:^O

If the Sarlaac has a big mouth hole in the ground...does that mean there's an...exit on the other side of the planet?

Yes, it's the lesser known Great [insert bannable jokes!] of Carkoon. The Sarlacc digests and moves you along so slowly though that sometimes you'll get stuck and just float at the center of the planet. Most people are dead by the 5,000th year or so, but it's a good deal of fun for those that aren't.

Who is the more foolish, anyway - the fool or the fool the follows him?

I'd answer, but it contains spoilers for Episode VII. :p
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 3:30 PM
Yes, it's the lesser known Great [insert bannable jokes!] of Carkoon.

"That doesn't sound so bad...

...I take it back."


-- Han Solo

:0)
  greenandwhitejedi
Bar 66
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 4:00 PM
Clearly these are some pertinent questions that require a great deal of attention from the brains at Lucasfilm. Otherwise I think mysteries like these will haunt us for many a moon yet. Except for 1) and 3), because the stormtrooper fell off the other side of the gantry, and 'Wedge' is a name not a call-sign.
  Son of a Bith
The Cantina Corner
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 4:03 PM
What about Mace's lightsaber? That has bothered me for quite some time...;)
  DarthVicomte
Vicomte's Blog Extravaganza (Now Defunct)
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 4:30 PM
What are those two wookiees doing?

I don't know... Perhaps if we shaved them...
Dark Spork
Sporktastic Voyage
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 4:52 PM
Babies come from heaven.

Or cabbage patches.

Your pick.

::nods sagely::
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 4:57 PM
Babies come from heaven.

Or cabbage patches.

Your pick.


>DM's brow furrows<

Can I eat babies?

I don't know... Perhaps if we shaved them...

but...then...what are those two Mayhews doing? ok nevermind.

What about Mace's lightsaber? That has bothered me for quite some time...

Believe it or not, I think that question is in the Q&A...for reels.
  solsticedawn
His men will follow him anywhere, ner vod. But only out of a sense of curiosity.
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 5:08 PM
"Why is the sky blue?"

This is what happens when you ask me a chemistry question...

There's a nice answer here, but my short answer has always been "it's the oxygen's fault". Nitrogen (78% of the atmosphere) is clear. Always. Liquid nitrogen looks like liquid water (or methyl ethyl ketone or hundreds of other liquids I could name). Liquid oxygen is a beautiful sky blue (oxygen is 21% of our atmosphere).

"Can I eat babies?"

I don't recommend it. Baby's moms can be quite vicious.
jkthunder
Seven Pieces
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 5:18 PM
The baby I wanna know from where it came is Anakin - Its not answered in the Q&A - FINE, Ill submit it myself.

Can I eat babies?

Sure! After all, you are the Supreme Emper-Moose.
  jedimasterninks
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 5:23 PM
Funny blog, emperor moose!
  Sunnyskywalker
Sunnyskywalker's Star Wars Stuff
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 5:33 PM
Ha, great blog! I have quite a lot of questions in a couple of my old blogs. Perhaps I'll be able to get some answers now.

-Are all Gungan buildings transparent? Are they all voyeurs or what?

-What time does Padme get up in the morning to be dressed in time for work?

-Why do they have to have guys in the superlaser tunnel? Would those guys have gotten cancer if they hadn't gotten blown up with the Death Star?

-What happened to the Falcon's fuzzy dice?
  EvilDarthBear
The Grand Admiral's Club
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 5:45 PM
When are we getting the trivia and leaderboard thing?
Darth Vader
Meditation Chamber
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 6:14 PM
7) If the Sarlaac has a big mouth hole in the ground...does that mean there's an...exit on the other side of the planet?

OMG! :^O

I'm not sure i really want to know the Council's answer to THAT. Or anyone's answer to that...

LOL
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 7:38 PM
-What time does Padme get up in the morning to be dressed in time for work?

Man, tell me about it. Who holds the dress up when she jumps in?
  Sunnyskywalker
Sunnyskywalker's Star Wars Stuff
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 8:03 PM
Anakin uses the Force, maybe? It's a wonder she can get by with so few handmaidens, really. You'd think she'd need at least three just for her hair
Jedi Master Mina
Jedi blogging, go back to your drinks!
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 8:58 PM
I want to know the description of what a refresher looks like. And if they don't take showers, how the hell do they get clean...Spit bath? Or was that Sani-bath? :D :^O

Babies come from heaven.

Jeez....Babies come out of mommies stomach. Get it straight people! ]:)
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 9:15 PM
Jeez....Babies come out of mommies stomach. Get it straight people!

Yeah right. sha. Like this is science fiction or something..psh...you must think I fell off the moose truck yesterday!

babies out of mommy's tummy. That's like straight out of Alien, yo.
  Diviner525
In the Flesh
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 9:23 PM
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm always this way with lists and stuff.
1 Harrison Ford said, "Lose that guy."
2 No, that would be Satan's one hitter.
3 Perennial loser at Trivial Pursuit. Real bad.
4 Yes
5 Yes
6 No touching allowed, there is a secet "hi-sign" ala Little Rascals. Sith just hate odd numbers. Two was most achievable.
7 No. Solids are digested, gases are burped out the way they came.
8 Grooming
9 discussion
10 The fool who follows him
  Jedi Outcast: Hello.
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 9:54 PM
Moose. You are a genius question asker. I see no reason why these questions havent been answered yet, it's an outrage!
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 10:01 PM
9 discussion

I'll do you one better - I posted that question in the OT Forum a couple of years ago...actually looking for a real answer - no one could really come up with one other than "They tossed them out the airlock".

Nasty. :0)
  Diviner525
In the Flesh
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 10:13 PM
I kinda like it when you get nasty.

:|

I'm not a forum guy, I'm a blog guy. I can't always know everything, but I will always believe that I do know everything. It's a habit.

Two pineconz. DM you are kinda cool sometimes.
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 10, 2006 10:23 PM
Two pineconz. DM you are kinda cool sometimes.

We all have a dark side :0)
The Stooge
Star Wars Joke-A-Day
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 8:17 AM
Babies come out of mommies stomach. Get it straight people!

Ooobah... ooobah...
  Darth Rex0
So be it....
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 9:20 AM
like..What happened to those guys?
Think about it.


"The two moved to Idaho (after they excaped) They raise sheep"
Kevin Smith's Clerks.
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 10:42 AM
"The two moved to Idaho (after they excaped) They raise sheep"
Kevin Smith's Clerks.


Or Brokeback Trooper...nah.
  "shaggy" fett
A Bounty Hunter's Memoirs
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 12:21 PM
i wouldnt be surprised if they started a support group for wounded stormtroopers that met every thursday.
  Edhelwen Emileia
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 3:08 PM
Idaho? Hey, I live in that state (unfortunately). Where are they? I sure haven't seen them... :P
Oh, and people here raise cows (for tipping). Not sheep so much. ;P

And on that Q&A thing... it doesn't want to work for me... either in Firefox or IE... Hmm...

Two pineconez if you can tell me where babies come from. :D
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Apr 11, 2006 9:28 PM
Two pineconez if you can tell me where babies come from.

I'm tellin ya, no one knows - you can tell by some of the totally made up theories in here! bah. out of mommy's tummy. That's just crazy talk, I tell yaz.
  voovie1960
The circle is now complete. When we first saw "Star Wars", we were but the learners, now we are the masters.
date Posted: Apr 12, 2006 1:06 PM
I know! Everyone knows we spring out of holes in the ground. What are they gonna say next, that some big, long-necked bird drops us off on our parents' doorstep in a bag?
  gahmah80
Gahmah's Lair of Trauma (Blog Closed Due to Inability to Renew Hyperspace Account)
date Posted: Apr 12, 2006 2:26 PM
*I laugh so hard, my mask falls off and I end up revealing the eyeball in the back of my throat*.....*I close my mouth and put my mask back on* Uh...Forget you saw anything.

Can I eat babies?
That's cannibalism, but since you're a moose, that isn't cannibalism, unless you're eating baby meese.
  Tu®gon
Gondolin
date Posted: Apr 12, 2006 5:11 PM
  Darth_Muh
date Posted: Apr 13, 2006 9:09 AM
:^O LOL

DM you never fail to crack me up.

"Darth! Moff, May I introduce Darth?"
"Darth. Darth."
"Moff, Darth. Moff"
"Admiral, Moff, Darth. Darth."
"Moff. Moff. Darth. Admiral. General. Darth."
"Admiral. General. Darth. Darth."

"Doctor, DOCtor, DocTOR"

BTW Do you need any more 'hooves' for your empire? I give a nasty Indian Burn.
  Darth Fishfood
Important Fish
date Posted: Apr 19, 2006 1:52 PM
Im back, man its been awhile, great blog moose
  Vader-fan#1
date Posted: Apr 22, 2006 4:10 AM
Mace has an electrum(Star Wars metal)saber.When making his saber,he picked out red and blue crystals,giving it it's purple hue.
  Jedihunter5555
The Journal of Jason
date Posted: Apr 26, 2006 9:28 AM
Love this blog, moose. LOVE it. Keep 'em comming.
  zboa10
date Posted: Apr 26, 2006 9:05 PM
moose dont eat meat they may kill but they are herbivores.And if they get hit by a car they somehow go through both windsheilds and land on the roof.
  zboa10
date Posted: Apr 26, 2006 9:07 PM
on baby thing. they come from a cloning facility where they do eperiment to mix dna. You caneven pick how smart or athletic they are.:D
  zboa10
date Posted: Apr 26, 2006 9:11 PM
I have also deducted that moose poodoo is george lucas himself. evidence #1 blue name.evidence #2 the only peron with that picture. evidence #3 can tell you about anything in star wars except where babies come from.:D
  jedi_peace19
date Posted: May 03, 2006 9:12 PM
i think dark moose is a genius!
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