Hello, you are not signed on.
[ Blogs.starwars.com ]

Moose Poodoo
date posted: Sep 05, 2006 10:50 PM  |  updated: Sep 06, 2006 5:09 AM
Wastin' Jacen
Jacen Solo is progressing quickly to being voted "Most Likely to Resemble a Body Part". Some folks, a lot of them actually, are still in his corner. Some more, a lot more actually, say he's headed the right way for a smacked bum.

And still others are flow-walking right into the ultimate conclusion - Jacen Solo must DIE! DIE DIE DIE! KILL KILL KILL JACEN SOLO!

Or not.

And so, reader, I must advise you to go no further if you don't want to read spoilers about something that may or may not happen, and there's no real reason to believe it will, but it could, so there ya go.

Top 20 Ways for Jacen to Eat It

1) Forgets to look both ways before Flow-Walking - hit by Temporal Bus

2) Becomes so conflicted he challenges self to deathmatch

3) Snakes on an X-Wing

4) Head explodes for obvious reasons

5) Makes mistake of telling Luke there is no Santa Claus

6) Falls down and becomes trapped under immense opinion of self

7) Becomes a Sith, is hunted down to a lava planet by another Jedi, gets legs and arms chopped off, bursts into flames...and this time, just for kicks, Jedi finishes job.

8) Catches Bird Flu from Vergere

9) Goes insane, dons hockey mask, goes on murderous rampage with chainsaw, but lone cheerleader manages to best him...until the next 12 sequels...

10) Lightsaber goes off while cleaning

11) Just for giggles, ambushes dad while wearing Rodian mask, firing blaster aimlessly into the wall behind him

12) Threatens OT cast with distribution of the Holiday Special

13) Killed by new superweapon - The Ego Crusher

14) While putting on cool new GAG jumpsuit, tries new "Force Zip" power

15) Becomes so adept at denial he convinces himself he doesn't have to eat

16) In rush to congratulate self, crashes through mirror

17) Falls for Boba Fett's "Pull my finger" trick

18) Says "What" again after ghost of Mace Windu has clearly warned him not to

19) Borrows Jaina's lip balm for the last time



And my personal favorite...



20) Tragic Blimp Accident over Superbowl XLI


Like I say...

Or not.

;0)

DM out

  Aurin_Starkiller
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 12:08 AM
I'm back...

Humorous. Very humorous. The Stooge has taught you well.

Haven't read Bloodlines yet, but I'm hearing some pretty dark things about Jacen. I say Luke should start acting like Luke and show Jacen who's boss. Or Mara could kick his rear; either way, makes for a good story.

God Bless,

May the Force grant us wisdom...
nob01
Oil Bath Bubbles
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 12:23 AM
Just for giggles, ambushes dad while wearing Rodian mask, firing blaster aimlessly into the wall behind him
Wonderful stuff old boy! :^O

Poor Jacen eh? All he ever wanted was to be hugged.

BTW - interesting tidbit for you. Did you know Meese have some of the most dextrous lips in the animal kingdom? They are able to operate sliding bolts in cages.
And open packets of ham.

Time for your nap.
  Aurin_Starkiller
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 12:44 AM
BTW - interesting tidbit for you. Did you know Meese have some of the most dextrous lips in the animal kingdom? They are able to operate sliding bolts in cages.
And open packets of ham.


I think he knew that, he is a moose after all. ;)

Meese... Why does that just sound funny?

God Bless,

May the Force be with us...
  greenandwhitejedi
Bar 66
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 3:32 AM
I say boom de gasser, then crashen da bosses heyblibber, then dead.

Says "What" again after ghost of Mace Windu has clearly warns him not to

"What" ain't no planet I ever heard of. They speak Basic on What?"
  Darth_Alpha1
Sith Happens, but Jedi Rocks
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 4:23 AM
3) Snakes on an X-Wing

That is it! I have had it with these Sith-Spawning snakes on this Sith-Spawning X-Wing!

(Thanks Master Windu ;))

5) Makes mistake of telling Luke there is no Santa Claus

Jacen: Luke, there is no Santa Clause.
Luke: No...that's not possible...no!! NO!!!!!
Jacen: Evil Laughter!! Now let's forget Christmas and celebrate...Life Day...]:)!
*Evil Laughter*
Luke: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must defeat you!
Jacen: Aggh!!! I Was only kidding!! No!!!

Impressive, very impressive O' Antlered One. :)

DA1 Force be with Ya'
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 5:13 AM
Did you know Meese have some of the most dextrous lips in the animal kingdom?

It's the very thing that allows me to talk out of both sides of my mouth. :0)

Time for your nap.

I don't wanna...so...szzleepy...zzzzzzzzz
Wari
What noone else is thinking......
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 5:30 AM
In rush to congratulate self, crashes through mirror


#16 is pretty much how I see him biting the big one ;

  leialookalike1
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 5:56 AM
That was funny! I may keep this list somewhere, see if one of them comes true...
  Jedi Arwen Skywalker
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 6:20 AM
That was hilarious! I think I keep the list like Leialookalike1. #2, #4, #5, #6, #18, #19, are just great! Thanks,it made a great start to my day!
  Sol Kassar
Ramblings from the Detention Center (Startled)
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 6:38 AM
18) Says "What" again after ghost of Mace Windu has clearly warned him not to

Nice. I wonder if he dared, even double-dared him...
  EvilDarthBear
The Grand Admiral's Club
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 6:55 AM
7) Becomes a Sith, is hunted down to a lava planet by another Jedi, gets legs and arms chopped off, bursts into flames...and this time, just for kicks, Jedi finishes job.

Imagine that ;)
FAN4YRS
A Rebel's Ramblings
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 7:40 AM
I stopped reading "Star Wars" fiction in the mid-1990s, when Jacen and his siblings were still just cute little kids.
comanderbly
That's Impossible. Even for a Computer.
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 7:55 AM
17) Falls for Boba Fett's "Pull my finger" trick
18) Says "What" again after ghost of Mace Windu has clearly warned him not to

Those are definately my favorites. Its always great to have a good laugh in the morning - thanks DM!
anakinside1
Echoes from the Asteroid Field
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 10:00 AM
That totally rocked! I'm just finishing the Dark Nest Trilogy, which is the first time I've read anything with Jacen as a major character, and I'm really not sure what to make of him yet. I can see why there's so much conflict around him.

:D
The Broox
I Have Ideas In My Head
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 11:11 AM
Says "What" again after ghost of Mace Windu has clearly warned him not to

Jacen's dead, baby. Jacen's dead.
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 12:24 PM
Jacen's dead, baby. Jacen's dead.

Bah :0) "That sting you feel? That's just pride..."
  twistedsithter
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 12:58 PM
I take it you dislike Jacen. The greatest jedi, most powerful true force user, and soon to become the greatest Sith lord of all time.
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 1:36 PM
I take it you dislike Jacen.

No no no...I'm obviously jealous of Jacen. And a little curious what he would look like in a burning blimp.
jkthunder
Seven Pieces
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 6:14 PM
The blimp seems most likely. Those things are dangerous. It could be Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the wrench though.
  corran_horn62
Best Lines from the EU
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 6:51 PM
  Aush
Exploring the Expanding Universe of Star Wars
date Posted: Sep 06, 2006 9:33 PM
This is hilarious!!!! :^O :^O

You know, these may not be bad endings for Jacen (:^O) :)
  natesmama
The Matriarch Says...
date Posted: Sep 07, 2006 7:11 AM
I stopped reading "Star Wars" fiction

"Star Wars" nonfiction, however, is still quite fascinating. :)
  _Darth_Indy_
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Star Wars
date Posted: Sep 07, 2006 12:08 PM
11) Just for giggles, ambushes dad while wearing Rodian mask, firing blaster aimlessly into the wall behind him

Definitely the best way to go, in my opinion. ;)

The blimp seems most likely. Those things are dangerous. It could be Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the wrench though.

HA! Good one! Although, I believe it might be the candlestick...
  gahmah80
Gahmah's Lair of Trauma (Blog Closed Due to Inability to Renew Hyperspace Account)
date Posted: Sep 07, 2006 2:50 PM
9) Goes insane, dons hockey mask, goes on murderous rampage with chainsaw, but lone cheerleader manages to best him...until the next 12 sequels...
That would seem like a bad joke for him, since his name is Jacen. :D
  gahmah80
Gahmah's Lair of Trauma (Blog Closed Due to Inability to Renew Hyperspace Account)
date Posted: Sep 08, 2006 8:37 PM
and he would become.........Jason. :D
littleluke59
Wormie's Corner
date Posted: Sep 09, 2006 9:47 AM
Hehehe, funny! LOVED 11 and 16. Yeah, I could see him crashing through that mirror...hehe. Good one. That just made my day.
:^O
  gahmah80
Gahmah's Lair of Trauma (Blog Closed Due to Inability to Renew Hyperspace Account)
date Posted: Sep 09, 2006 3:02 PM
Your wit and intellect never cease to astound me.
OMG! (or in terms of third-person speak, OGG!) What have they done to that poor moose's legs?! :O
  corran_horn62
Best Lines from the EU
date Posted: Sep 11, 2006 2:05 PM
OMG! (or in terms of third-person speak, OGG!) What have they done to that poor moose's legs?! :O


He's got 'em here...;
  solo smelly
date Posted: Sep 11, 2006 8:17 PM
:^O Moose, that was great! :^O

Thanks for the laugh!

MTFBWY, forever and always...
  jacenfan1
date Posted: Oct 12, 2006 10:13 PM
AWWWW moose.... that link you put up there led straight to a conversation about yours truly... did you plan that? Me being the greatest defender of Jacen Solo on the planet and all.. its just kind of fitting isn't it.... anyway.. I don't think we need to worry about Jacen dying. because he aint gonna die.. at least he better not.. but if he has to go... I think he should go out in a blaze of glory.. and that of course means #20.. the blimp:p
DJ Maul: Got Feet?
DJ Maul's Dancin' Cantina Party
date Posted: Oct 17, 2006 12:50 PM
I just finished "Bloodlines" last night.

Up until now I've been avoiding "spolier" type posts just in case, which Is why Im just NOW reading this.

Anyway, Im kind of DIGGING this whole "Jacen turns Sith" thingie, but yea he will PROBABLY have to die at some point, all the great Bad Guys eventually DO.

Or maybe he could be the very first Sith Lord to get turned back to the good side again and NOT still wind up DEAD.

Nah....My bet is he gets thrown down a really, REALLY deep shaft by Ben Skywalker... ]:)
  jediadam_baakur
date Posted: Nov 26, 2006 3:21 PM
I think the more interesting question would be not when but how he dies, before or after Luke.
  • Please log in to post comments