Well, yesterday (Tuesday), I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when suddenly, from out of nowhere, I was set upon by a massive herd of Ewoks.

I ran home as fast as I could, but they started throwing rocks at me before I could get very far, so I dove into a dumpster and hid. After a few minutes, I poked my head out, to see if they were gone. I didn't see any more Ewoks outside, so I climbed out of the dumpster and cautiously started walking back home. Every once in awhile I thought I heard one of them yelling in the distance, but none of them were nearby. Then, I felt his presence.

I was awash with a deep sensation of annoyance. I wasn't quite sure where it was coming from, but my instincts told me it must be something truly horrid to be that irritating. The Ewoks must have found a horrible monster to unleash upon the populace; a doomsday weapon to obliterate an entire city. And then, strolling happily down the street, I saw it: Jar-Jar.

My Jedi training had taught me to resist anger, but I was having a pretty hard time with this. First Ewoks and now Jar-Jar? Dude, what is this planet coming to? I ran the rest of the way home, slammed the door, and flopped down in the nearest Lay-Z-Boy.


To be continued in Episode II...