I saw Revenge of the Sith on May 19th. It was early in the morning, the lines were long, the theater was crouded, there were geeks who somehow managed to watch Episode II even as they stood in line (miniature dvd players...sweet...).

For a Star Wars film, a standard opening day scene. But I never reviewed it, primarily because I wasn't fully...there...for most of May 19th. And I was smart enough to realize it.

It was early morning -- I was barely awake. It was Episode III -- I wasn't really aware of my surroundings for, oh, at least 72 hours after. I was hardly in a state to write anything, much less a review of a Star Wars film. And so I waited.

And then yesterday I went and saw Episode III again. It was good. And I came out convinced of several points.

1) Nobody should ever laugh during Episode III

See those clonetroopers? They're going to attempt to kill Yoda any moment now, and he's gonna chop 'em in half. You want to laugh at that, don't you? Well, don't.

It's annoying. Episode III is not a laughing film. There is only one point during the movie where it is ok to laugh (uproariously, if possible), and that's when Anakin and Padme are doing that whole "You're so beautiful" -- "You only think that because you're in love" thing.

And while you may laugh at that, please do resist the urge to vomit.

2) Yoda talks funny

Or more precisely, he talks funnier, and only in Episode III. "The boy you knew, gone he is?" No, it should be "Gone the boy you knew is." Perhaps Yoda's grammer deteriorates under heavy stress, but it's still wrong...or, I suppose, wrong-er.

3) The movie is too short

...but it DEFINITELY shouldn't have been longer.

That last bit is especially true for those of us who absolutely refuse to take bathroom breaks during Star Wars movies. But even so, Episode III is blindingly fast. There was, frankly, too much unresolved story left for one 2 1/2 hour movie.

Still, I do think Lucas did well under the circumstances.

4) Every other point has already been run into the ground by fans worldwide

So I'll wrap this little review thingy up. I liked Episode III better the second time. I was "there" enough to notice George Lucas's cameo, to make absolutely sure I heard Padme say "So this is how liberty dies," and to admire the impressive architecture of her apartment.

John Williams is awesome. Ian McDiarmid is awesome. Ewan McGregor did an excellent job as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Hayden Christensen is whinier than ever.

All in all, good film.

Thank you, and God Bless America.

:-D