I got this from http://www.freewebs.com/melvindiablo/starwarshilarity.htm, and I hope these people aren't taking themselves seriously.

"Star Wars-Did it Really Happen?
This comes from a magazine that I bought in an antique mall several years ago. I bought it in '94, but it was printed in '79. The magazine is called Star Battles, and this particular article is from the summer issue. All pictures are black and white and we are talking newspaper quality pages. Now, I just bought it, because I have a powerful interest in Star Wars magazines from the 70s era. Little did I know that this one would contain what is undoubtedly one of the best Star Wars articles ever written. Now there are no interviews in this magazine, and no great pictures either, but trust me when I tell you that the strength of the entire magazine rests heavily on the shoulders of this one article. Enjoy.

'STAR WARS - DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? By George Stahl.

Star Wars! The young man walks out of the movie theater into the cool September evening. His head is filled with visions of intergalactic battles, force beams and Death Stars. He pauses to look into the star-sprinkled sky and wonders whether spectacular battles are being waged beyond the outer reaches of the solar system. "Aah, it's just a fantasy," he thinks to himself. "Luke Skywalker and the rebels and Darth Vader and the Imperial Storm Troopers aren't real-just made up characters in a movie." He shrugs his shoulders and slowly makes his way home.

Star Wars-Did it really end when the movie did? Many of the most influential scientific minds in the country don't think so. There's a good deal of partial evidence that points strongly to the existence of super-technological warfare being waged in outer sectors of the galaxy.

In fact, it is being speculated in scientific and movie-making circles that the makers of Star Wars based the film on real, actual events-events that really happened and continue to happen everyday.

Universe-shattering conflicts between warring planets and star ships are not just the product of the fertile imaginations of Hollywood screenwriters-they are just as real as any battle here on Earth. Force beams, light sabers and laser guns do exist and are deployed daily in the fight by the power of good against the forces of evil. The scenes in the movie, Star Wars, are just a brief hint of what life is really like for those who travel the galaxy in ships that are faster than the speed of light.

But how did the folks at 20th Century Fox, which produced the movie, duplicate these actual events that have never been witnessed by the human eye?

Okay. I want to stop here for a second to tell you about the captions below the pictures in the book. At the bottom of the page the first article is from there is a picture of Darth Vader dueling with Obi-Wan Kenobi from the original Star Wars. Under the picture is a caption that reads," During a break, Ben Kenobi (Alec Guiness) takes lessons using the light saber from an alien in Darth Vader's costume." On the next page there is a picture of Darth Vader from the scene where Princess Leia is brought to him by the storm troopers. Above it is a caption that reads, "No human actor hides behind Darth Vader's mask-this is an alien!

Is it possible that alien beings from distant worlds, here on Earth to educate humans about the alien lifestyle, "planted" the story with the script writers assigned to Star Wars? Is it true that Star Wars is not fiction, but rather the true recollections of space creatures who have fought many similar battles before coming to Earth? How else could there be a film so realistic, so unlike any science fiction ever made before? Are there aliens in Hollywood right now, helping the motion picture industry with a score of upcoming science "fiction" flicks?

This is all too possible, according to experienced UFOlogists. In fact, it now seems very likely that thanks to this movie, millions of Americans have actually seen genuine aliens.

One of the most visually shocking scenes in Star Wars takes place in a barroom on the rebel planet Tatooine when Luke Skywalker and his friends go there to see about hiring a spaceship for their mission. There, creatures from all over the universe gather to drink. Their weird and hideously malformed bodies are too extreme for even the most talented make-up artist and costume designer to create.

These "actors" are probably real space aliens, changed from the human form they normally assume while on Earth. These monstrous creatures, with the heads of humans and the bodies of insects, animals and lizards, appear on film as they do on their home worlds.

Sources close to Star Wars attest that the sets were closed during the filming of the barroom sequence, and that no members of the press were allowed to interview or even see the alien "actors." The sources say that make-up and special camera techniques were used to make the creatures seem less hideous than they actually were.

While the aliens here on Earth are infiltrating everything from television and movies to fast-food chains and microwave oven factories, explosive battles are raging in space. The star wars continue, and reach violent proportions never seen in the movie version.

Rumor has it that the sequel to Star Wars, to be released in the not-too-distant future, will depict war in the galaxies more realistically than the first film did. Once again, aliens will be working closely with the director, George Lucas, and the special effects designer, John Dykstra, who also is responsible for the spectacular scenes in the hit T.V. series Battlestar Galactica.

A cloak of secrecy surrounds the pre-production plans for Star Wars Part 2. Normally, a motion picture company is eager for all the publicity it can get, but in this case, industry executives have been reluctant to talk with magazines such as ours about the film. Naturally, 20th Century Fox refused to answer our questions about alien participation in either film.

After the completion of the shooting of the film, the aliens remained in Hollywood and Southern California after reassuming the human form that helps them escape detection. Passing as ordinary people, they are now employed in jobs within the film industry, where their subtle but persuasive influence is felt in every new motion picture release, not just the science fiction films. This will enable the aliens to educate a large portion of American families about the alien purpose on this planet.

So if you've seen Star Wars, you've seen an alien. Not just an actor pretending to be an alien, and not mere models of what humans imagine aliens to look like, but a real creature from outer space. And you can expect to see more aliens in part two, and learn more about their uncanny powers and their mission here on Earth.

This is the end of the article, but not the hilarity. On the page where this portion of the article was printed are two more black and white photos. One at the top shows Han Solo in the Millennium Falcon Gun Turret from the dogfight scene from the original Star Wars. A caption under it reads, "Han Solo, actor Harrison Ford, in an actual replica of an alien spacecraft." On the bottom of the page is a picture of producer Gary Kurtz with a camera in what appears to be a movie set hangar. The caption below it reads, "Producer Gary Kurtz pauses while taking still photos of the Star Wars set to receive instructions from his alien consultants.'

There are a few other silly articles which I may put up later, but this one is by far the best. This is Mel Diablo reminding you to question everything, especially Hollywood. Goodbye."