This past Sunday, I met my 5th starwars.com "friend" : jedimasterfinch. I met JMF on the "girls'" message board almost 2 years ago. We were instantly chatter boxes together on the board because of our love of animals & wildlife. I shared stories w/her about a red-tail hawk that haunted our yard, picking off blue jays & occasionally posing for pictures that I could send to her. When she told me a month ago that she was planning a trip to Vegas of course there would be a meeting in the works. And such a meeting happened on Sunday afternoon - she even came to the tail end of my concert! Whoa. Big deal considering it was a "children's concert" full of music I wouldn't normally have to play in an orchestra!! But there she was, clapping her heart out & enjoying what she heard!

Our meeting moved from the concert hall back to Quark's restaurant (where I had previously met janlomona & Frans Latka in October) for dinner & great conversation. We stayed there for 4 1/2 hours chatting the night away over banana split milkshakes. I'm still dreaming about those, btw, planning a trip back there w/ Padawan-Wan! Our easy conversation made me realize something very important - something which JMF articulated perfectly while we sucked up the last of the whipped cream: it can be scary to meet people you've only known on line, but after each of us have met several sw.com people, it seems apparent that getting to know people intellectually first really plays a big part in creating lasting friendships.

There are people here that I have known for 2 solid years, our conversations moving from the boards to email and eventually to meetings. Yes, I was nervous when I first me WifeofVader back in April 2006, but I think I was more worried what she would think of me! Now, 2 years into this experience I realize that the friends I've made here at sw.com are in many ways more involved in my life than those "tangible" people that live just a few miles away. Dare I mention again that WoV had even offered to help me pack up my house when I moved? And then in the same breath should I also point out that none of our locally located friends lifted a finger?

Why is it that the folks that hang out here are so easily able to click? What is it about all of us? Our love of Star Wars? The fact that we're all intelligent professionals, college students or even some of the most articulate high school students I've ever had the chance to converse with? Well, I've had some time to think about this & with each passing meeting (I've now met 7 sw.com members in real life) I think this becomes even more obvious.

For me, Star Wars is not about the sci-fi part of it. Sure, the ships are cool, the locations amazing, the action sequences fantastic, but it's always been about the characters. I wish I had a friend like Leia who would hold off a torture droid to protect me. A friend like Luke who would always believe the best in me no matter what others said. A friend like Han who is fiercely loyal almost too his doom and will stop at nothing to protect those he loves. I could go on and on, right? It's the relationships the characters (PT & OT) have with each other that for me is the real "fantasy."

In my life, I've had only a couple of friends worth holding on to, worth fighting for, and only one friend who has fought just as hard as me to continue our friendship. I long for friends like Luke, Leia & Han because I feel like I've been shortchanged in my own friendships. Like I am Han standing by my friends during their most difficult experiences but when I needed support & understanding, everyone disappeared. For example, when I gave birth to Padawan-Wan in 2001 I felt like I had plenty of "friends" but after he came along, people stopped inviting us over to their houses, stopped asking us out to the movies... like we became invisible. When I needed a sitter so I could go to a gig, there was no one to turn to. It hurt. It hurt a lot because I know I would have been there unconditionally for those friends, but after being deserted, I'm actually thankful I was the first to have a baby - at least I didn't feel I'd given something that wasn't reciprocated.

I watch SW and think, "I wish I had friends like that..." For me, those friendships are the fantasy that I get lost in. Sure, Hubby-Wan is all those things that Han & Luke are, and my one constant friend is very much like Leia or Padme to me, but I felt disillusioned for many years. Like it was impossible to make new friends or keep current ones. But now? All my friends here have made me realize that friendship is not about living next door or being able to go out to the movies every Friday, it's about lending an ear, a shoulder, a warm hug, even if it's a private email saying "I'm here for you," or a (((((hug))))). Sometimes I can actually feel those friends hugging me over the distance.

Yes, yes, I am waxing poetic here, but I don't think I can ever thank everyone here enough for helping me realize that real friendships are not fantasies, they are out there for me to have. And I'm out there too, ready to be counted among someone's friends.

Those sw.com members that I have met: WifeofVader, DPM_Shadowluker, Janlomona, Frans Latka, Darth Vader, Padmeskywalker77 and now jedimasterfinch have of course transcended my computer screen & my cell phone to be tangible people that I have real visual memories of as well as remember what it felt like to actually hug them so every time I see (((((hug))))) I can take some comfort in their real hugs. But that doesn't mean that those I've formed relationships with & haven't met yet are any less my friends. I'm just waiting for the day when we can meet, but until then, I'm hoping I can be as much a support to them as they are to me.

In conclusion... I just want to say thank you to all those friends I have here, thanks for bringing me out of my funk & showing me that I can be a productive member of a social group, but mostly for showing me that I was wrong all these years in my opinions of "friends." Sometimes we find true friendships where we least expect them.