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Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy
date posted: Jun 22, 2007 12:00 PM
Exploding Star Wars Toys Series: Part 10
The date: October 2006.

Imagine you're a kid. You see a cool Lego kit at Target & beg your parents for it. This thing costs somewhere between $75 and $100 but no matter, you don't understand the value of money yet anyway. They tell you, "no, it's too expensive. Maybe for your birthday..."

Your birthday approaches & you wonder if you'll get this Lego kit. You rip through your gifts hoping that the next one will be it and then.....

PAYDIRT!! There it is! Star Wars LEGO Star Destroyer!! WOW!!!

Beside himself, Padawan-Wan waits patiently for 3 days while Hubby-Wan puts this thing together. Usually, Mom & Dad put together the big kits as a team, but there was something overwhelming to mom's circuitry that as soon as the box was opened, and she saw the many bags filled with thousands of grey pieces, a spring popped in her brain, steam trailed from one ear & she disappeared into the kitchen for some comfort food, leaving Hubby-Wan to deal with the kit himself.

Thankfully, all the bags of pieces were labeled to follow the instructions & to make life a bit easier. Because he was laboring away late at night, after the Padawan went to bed, he'd only spend an hour or two on it. This then took him 3 nights to put together & when he was finished, he thought he truly was top Lego Dog of the Galaxy. And you know what? He was just a little bit more my hero after that feat.

We presented Padawan-Wan with this crowning achievement in Lego architecture the next morning to thundrous screams & hollers! We showed him the little Imperial R2 unit that came with the kit, the mouse droids, the Imperial officers, the hologram Emperor & another Darth Vader. We made it clear that the bridge was NOT to be removed by him - if he wanted it off the ship, he had to ask one of us to do it (there was a little button at the bottom of the ship to release the bridge). He could open the panels to reach the inside of the ship on his own, but he had to be very careful about it. We supervised the first few tentative tries to open the panels, we were pleased with what we saw, and entrusted this masterpiece to his care.

In his room, he has is old Thomas the Tank Engine play table. This is a table Hubby-Wan & I constructed ourselves because we didn't have $250 to throw away on a table "specifically" for Thomas Trains. That seemed silly to us, so we used an old coffee table my dad pulled from someone's garbage on his street!, screwed on a piece of plywood (4'x2') & used 2 "landscape" vinyl play mats (yes, these were "official" Thomas accessories) as a covering for the wood to construct our very own table. It cost us about $50 to make.

Anyway, he still has this table though he hasn't played with his trains, so he uses it as a Lego station now. It looks a lot like Lego City from Lego SW II video game! So this is a good thing for him. The Star Destroyer, along with his B-Wing, Jedi Starfighter, V-Wing, A-Wing, TIE Interceptor & Slave I, is parked on the table. He plays happily for hours in his room with his models & for several months all was quiet on the western front.

That was until the Rebel Fleet attacked.

Just before dawn one chilly morning in February 2007 the Rebel Fleet amassed on the far corner of the Lego table. The ships in general disrepair, but capable of flight. The general dons his Darth Vader Voice Changer Mask & Harry Potter cape, a pair of Old Navy Slippers on his feet & a lightsaber in his hand. His troops wait anxiously for his command. Then it comes: "ATTACK!!!"

Ships hurl through the air, throwing themselves against the hull of the Star Destroyer, smashing again & again & again until thousands of bricks are strewn across the table - grey, yellow, red, marroon, white, black, blue - character heads rolling helplessly to the floor, torsos, legs, hands, hair, hats, lightsabers, blasters falling into the carpetting. *BANG!* we can hear the commotion from the warmth of our own bed & know what this commotion means - something is being destroyed. We pull the covers over our heads & hope that it's all just a bad dream.

A few moments later, Padawan-Wan stumbles into our room. "Mom? Can you help me fix the Star Destroyer?"

Hubby-Wan & I pull ourselves out of bed, knowing what we're about to see, bracing for the shock of the sight, gathering our groggy wits about it. Would we yell at him? What would we do?

We were rendered speechless by the destruction wrought that morning. I have not weeped over a toy since I was a child & lost a teddy bear on the kindergarten school bus. But that morning I fought back tears. Hubby-Wan's knees threatened to buckle, I swear I saw his lip quiver.

"I need to make some coffee," was all he could say.

I gathered up the broken remains of the Star Destroyer & the other ships into separate boxes & baggies. The Star Destroyer pieces lay in the cover of it's original box, I placed the instructions booklet over it's broken remains. The body lay in state in our room on the chest at the end of our bed for a week. All of us passing it quietly each day, saying little prayers that we would be able to successfully put it back together.

Now, several months later, the courage to rebuild the technological terror still has not risen in either of us. The Star Destroyer in it's box has now been moved to a cabinet where we can't see it every day & be depressed over what could have been & what could be should we ever put it back together.

Someday.... the Star Destroyer will fly again. Until then, it's muffled cries can be heard late at night, ghosts of the grisly attack the Rebels inflicted in that great & terrible battle of February 2007, that brought about the liberation of the galaxy.

nob01
Oil Bath Bubbles
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 1:11 PM
A tragic, yet wonderfully funny tale, Oboe-Wan :)

I guess every small child has to destroy their lego sets at least once to realize that it won't rebuild itself any time soon...

Good luck, and I hope you gain the courage to tackle it once more ;)
  comanderbly
That's Impossible. Even for a Computer.
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 1:29 PM
Oh man that brings back memories. I must have had 2-3 garbage bags full of legos growing up. My father is an engineer, I think the legos were his favorite thing to get for me. I remember building structures as tall as I could then destroying them (I even turned out OK). I never had any single thing as big as what you described, though. Thanks for the flashback!!! :)

Perhaps you should look to the future. I can see it now, Oboe and her hubby are grand parents, and what do they buy their grandson/daughter? Lego Coruscant!!! Hate to see that come crashing down! ;)
  indyStarWarsFan
Code is Hapspir, Barrini, Corbolan, Triaxis
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 2:13 PM
I guess every small child has to destroy their lego sets at least once to realize that it won't rebuild itself any time soon...

No kidding...I remember that I once dropped a Lego Millenium Falcon and was not able to put it back together again because of how the pieces were arranged:(
  Oboe-Wan
Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 2:22 PM
I guess every small child has to destroy their lego sets at least once to realize that it won't rebuild itself any time soon...
Or that the "Lego Fairies" (aka mom & dad) sometimes just don't have the strength of character to do it....

Lego Coruscant!!! Hate to see that come crashing down!
shhh.... never speak of that again!!

hansgirl3
Invoking the Squee
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 2:30 PM
So, I gotta know...

Did Padawan-wan ever say what possessed him to destroy the Destroyer? :O

Ouch! ;)
  ketal13
HanAnWan
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 3:34 PM
Padawan-Wan waits patiently for 3 days while Hubby-Wan puts this thing together.
But that morning I fought back tears. Hubby-Wan's knees threatened to buckle,
:^O:^O:^OHI-LAR-RI-OUS!!!!!! I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. I am so happy to discover that my hubby and I are not alone in the land of SW Lego.:D

and entrusted this masterpiece to his care. :^O:^OBeen there done that!:^O

That was until the Rebel Fleet attacked.: ^O:^OOh my.

Loved your blog!! I could highlight practically the whole thing and laugh (with you). Thanks for sharing.:DI'll be showing this story to my hubby.:D
Granny-Wan
I Am NOT an Old Fossil!
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 4:40 PM
I'm sorry, Oboe dear, my I am ROFLMAO at the thought of the terrible battle that was bravely fought in your Padawan's room.... I love little boys...
  rj_peters
Memos from the Imperial Finance Department
date Posted: Jun 22, 2007 6:11 PM
Ah, the greatness of Star Wars Lego. I've got Jabba's sail barge waiting to be put together. Slave I took a while just last week, so I'm pacing myself before tackling the even larger sail barge.
FAN4YRS
A Rebel's Ramblings
date Posted: Jun 23, 2007 4:23 AM
I never thought about having my parents put Lego kits together when I was a kid. Hhhmmm. Maybe that is how all my other friends did it!
  Oboe-Wan
Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy
date Posted: Jun 23, 2007 7:34 AM
Did Padawan-wan ever say what possessed him to destroy the Destroyer? :O
The thrill of victory...

I am so happy to discover that my hubby and I are not alone in the land of SW Lego.
Truly there is safety in numbers!

I love little boys...
me too....:x

I've got Jabba's sail barge waiting to be put together.
Working together, we put the sail barge together in just a couple of hours. It wasn't so bad - at least the pieces were different colors!

I never thought about having my parents put Lego kits together when I was a kid.
Frankly, the big kits are more "for us" than for him, but he does help put together the smaller ships. He is kind of a spaz! :D
gold5
I lost Tiree, lost Dutch!..or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Death Star.
date Posted: Jun 23, 2007 9:02 AM
Brilliant! I was rolling the whole time. I apologize for laughing at your obvious dispair and grief.;) My little girl has a knack for completely taking apart everything she owns (even if it is not supposed to come apart). Naked dolls, the clothing, parts of various toys, Arms and heads of dolls scatter across her bedroom floor for mom and dad to step on. So I sympathize. :_|

This was like reading oboe-wan and an anecdote from Ralphie in Christmas story all mixed into one. Again Brilliant!:^O
  zach starwalker
date Posted: Jun 23, 2007 4:13 PM
goodness gracious me. what in the 9 correlian hecks were you thinking. you dont let little kinds play with sets that big. I dont even let my parents touch anything. i wont even let them touch the old old slave one(the crappy green one with no curves). if my dad touches anything he breaks it. maybe you should try the bionicle ones. easy to assemle and different colored peices.
you can alway send the peices to me if you want. ill put it together.:D
Sarlacc-Pitt
Slowly Digested Over A Thousand Blogs
date Posted: Jun 23, 2007 7:49 PM
Cute story! Hey, at least he didn't attack a Death Star made out of cardboard boxes in the basement, setting it on fire and everything...

Yep, that was me. ]:) Mom really loved that.

1982, where are you?!

Good times. :D
JediMelindaWolf
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
date Posted: Jun 24, 2007 7:57 AM
I know exactly what you mean. :_|


That's all I can say.


MTFBWY (to one day put back together what was all too swiftly destroyed). :)


p.s. Were the rebels victorious that morning? I can only hope.
  Oboe-Wan
Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy
date Posted: Jun 24, 2007 3:20 PM
I apologize for laughing at your obvious dispair and grief.
No no, please do... that's why I tell the tales!

maybe you should try the bionicle ones.
Mostly he doesn't play w/the BIG sets, they are "display only" but this all happened while we were still sleeping... wiley little guy!! And yes, we've done the Bioncles. He likes them because they are easy enough for him to put together & easy enough to reassemble!

Mom really loved that.
Did your mom achieve Sainthood?

Were the rebels victorious that morning?
Yes, clearly the LEGO rebel fighters hold together much better!
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