Ok ok ok, I can't stand it anymore. I think most of you realize that this was a joke on my friend in the black suit. It's been fun, that's for sure, kickin' back with a little drinky and answering your burning questions. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! But, joke's over! He's released me from the carbonite, all is well in the world.



______________________________© RCCE


Since he saw fit to encase me in carbonite for a weak reference to what ranks as one of the worst songs on "Thriller," I must seek revenge on the dark lord himself. So, without further ado......


This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the fans to ask Oboe-Wan all their burning questions. In an effort to bring peace and prosperity to the people, the Jedi Council has set this free advice column. Use it.

How does it work?

Easy, you have a question for Oboe-Wan? Post in the comments section and the answer will appear shortly after in this blog. Please leave your name and city/state/country/planet.

Can I ask about anything?

That is correct. ANYTHING you want to know about Oboe-Wan. Lucky winners will have their question answered.

Ask about my motivations, what the life of a blue Jedi is really like, why I have a purple lightsaber, what my theories are on purple sabers, why I appear to have died in the 3rd movie, anything you want to know.


There you go. This space is yours, use it wisely.


__________________________________© RCCE
Special thanks to Darth Vader who wrote the opening blog.
Extra special thanks to JK & Ami who came up with the idea in the first place.
Special thanks to Darth Vicomte for reinforcing this idea.
And extra extra special thanks to Rive Caedo for inventing the straight line.


nyuck nyuck nyuck

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jkthunder writes:
Um... Where am I? What blog is this? What is your ID number!
ssshhhhh....... rest, rest is what you need......

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luuke.skywalker says:
I like you better than them anyway!
Aww shucks! that just made my lekku curl up with joy!

Will the bright lights of Vegas send you into sensory overload?
i sure hope not.

Why were you on Felucia anyway?
It was actually mother's day & I wanted to pick some oversized flourescent flowers for my mom

Tschaikowski's 1812 without the cannons: for or against?
Against! Watch the trick questions there, buddy.

But this one time in Jedi Band Camp the orchestra director thought it would be cool to fire shotguns w/blanks into empty oil drums.... not only did we all go deaf, the entire auditorium filled w/smoke, fire dept was called, & rehearsal over.

Do you know any dirty jokes about lekku? Please share.
I do, but because of licensing rights here on sw.com I have to leave the joke writing to TheStooge.

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Kenobi-fan declares:
You're blue, have long 'thingees' hanging from your head and you play the oboe, what more do I really need to know?
Absolutely nothing.

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greenandwhitejedi wonders:
Why is Oboe-wan?
Who are it?
How be she?
When are you?
Yes
No
Maybe
Now

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luuke.skywalker worries:
Is the Stooge trying to frame poor Oboe-wan here? Or maybe the Stooge is Oboe-wan, and Darth Rex0 is me, and jkthunder is Santa Claus, and Kenobi-fan is George Lucas!
Actually, I am you 30 years from now.

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DarthVicomte winks:
This friend I have, wants he to ask you if you can meet him he does. A small cottage on Naboo, he has, by the lakes, it is. Up front, payment will be. Tell him for you, I will.
I'm honored, but since I'm still encased in carbonite he'll have to also pay for shipping

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padmeskywalker77 shows genuine concern:
What is it like being frozen in carbonite?
It's kind of nice, no one is bugging me to drive them places or cook stuff. A girl could get used to this.

Are you hearing that "Thriller" song in your mind?
No, actually Darth Vader equipped this carbonite block w/an iPod for my listening pleasure. Currently listening to: Mahler

What was life like for you before you were "sentenced" to the carbonite block?
Quite nice. The PLB manager had me out on tour for a bit. I had just returned when DV caught me.

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The Stooge has a real problem:
Dear Oboe-Wan,

I am having problems with a co-worker. But here's my question: I swallow my chewing gum, and have done so for years. Am I in danger of my "innie" turning into an "outtie?"

I figured you, of the deep blue navel, must know the answer!

Hi Stooge, you're not in danger of pushing out your belly button so much as growing a gum garden on your ribs. I recommend varying what flavors you swallow to prevent over germination.

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ewanandhaydenfan5 practices up:
I think a better job would be the PLB Psychologist!
Sign me up!!

Anyway, to my question.
Dear Oboe-Wan,
Are your prehensile tentacles a hindrance or a help when accessorizing?
Very helpful!

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Graham 76 walks the line:
I tend to hang about in a bar where apart from myself and two other guys, it's full of women,! "So, what's the problem?" I hear you ask. There isn't one! Just thought I'd share with you all!
Good for you! But I hear most of them are married anyway. So, good luck with that

p.s. I didn't break any rules.
We shall see........

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jkthunder toots her own horn
This advice column biz... its all my fault.

*What have I done?*
A beautiful beautiful thing.....

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Darth Vader has real concerns:
Dear Oboe-Wan,

1. How come you can post blogs from the carbonite block? I wasn't aware there was a compooper in there?
Lest you forget that Lobot was in the chamber calibrating it before you sent me in.... I attacked him, took his head piece, and now have that in here with me.

2. Do you think we'll see yet another "Ask XXX" anytime soon?
I'm not sure who XXX is, but he sounds HOT!!!

3. Why are you so hot?
good old fashioned DNA, good genes, Special-K and lots of leather

4. Have you ever tried to touch your butt with your lekku?
You wish......

5. Why does Mace Windu's lightsaber is purple? i want the REAL and definitive answer please!
Hey, this is a family blog....

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Ewan_Kenobi panics:
I don't know who I am, I'm so confused! Please help!
Your help is much appreciated,
Confused in Hollywood, Tatooine (I think)
You're a hot actor from Scotland, take heart, pretty much every girl here loves you.

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Darth Vader's temper flares
Why are you blaming ME for that? Don't you think you deserved it?
Perhaps, but you must listen to Thriller more. PLB's.... PYT..... c'mon! It was a good joke!!! (now can I please come out & play?)

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Master Andy Luke Skywalker has a "real" question:
Is it posible for an acomplished jedi to learn piano when she has already grown up?
Master Andy, you ask many questions, and since my attention span is like 4 seconds long, you lost me. To this one VERY important question I reply YES! YES! Go take piano lessons! I have had many "adult" students, probably all older than you. So go do it.

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amidalooine checks in:
Dear Oboe-Wan...Even though you just rendered MY copycat blog obsolete...
No, you should do one too! I hear this is a trend that is sweeping the nation!

1. Who is your favorite PYT? Not to be confused with PLB...'cause I KNOW I'm your favorite there...
Yes, you are! My favorite PYT? Ooh, that gots to be Orlando Bloom.

2. Which alien is Michael Jackson in the Cantina?
He's the skeletor thing in the corner w/no nose. And if you see him, Run away! Far away!!

3. How many mothers does Leia have?
I believe the "official" word is 1, Padme, but sources have confirmed that in Australia she has 3.

4. If I build it, will they come?
Are you building your own Greased Lightening! The answer is Yes! I heard they "will."

5. What do you get when you cross a Twi'lek with a Wampa?
a DUCK!!!


I can just imagine the gorgeous horned, purple babies we'd make...
Do you know anyone like that?????"
It's signed, simply

Um.... no..... never met anyone like that in my life......... *whistle*whistle*

*****************************
Graham asks:
Is the doggone girl mine?
No, she's mine, no she's mine, no no no, no she's mine, she's mine...!

Is this Thriller night?
Thriller? I hardly know 'er.

Who's bad?
Good? Bad? Who are we to judge?

Is Mustafa from Mustafar?
Well.... he is very badly burned after all.....

*****************************

jedimasterninks repeats:
Can I have your autograph?
No, sorry, since I'm "officially" listed as dead in the Jedi archives, I can't be signing sheets of paper and jeopardizing my exile

How do you use the washroom.
politely. I even light a candle when I'm finished

Why is everyone righting 'dear ___' or 'To ___'?
It's just good manners

What's your middle name?
Fellulla

If you have one, who's your father?
His name is Bob Secura, he works at DynaCorp., you probably don't know him.

What's the teperature in space?
frickin' freezing!

Are there any females on the Death Star?
just me

*****************************
ryanlb leads off with the new age old question:
why do you have a purple lightsaber?
See blog

why do all the pictures of you have blue lightsabers?
It really has to do with the way the film was restored & remastered so many times. It appears to be blue now, but in the original version, which you'll never see because the powers-that-be will never let you see it, it is actually a very nice shade of purple


Why does it appear that a bunch of (totally cool) Clones get the drop on you (and a bunch of other weak jedi) and blast you into oblivion? Why didn't you at least kill a few of them?
something to do with a bird? Actually, it's because my scene was just there to show you that all jedi are not weird, ugly, or scary looking: some of us are hot. I wasn't allowed to draw my lightsaber because GL said so.

...and there was some little kid at the Jedi Temple that took out several clones before being executed, but you just get shot in the back. Several times. What is up with that?
YEah, I figure when my dad makes a 6 part space opera that consumes the planet I'll get to deflect a few shots before dying.

*****************************
Mirax Horn manages to send a holo from her undisclosed location...
how come hotdogs come in packages of 10 and hotdog buns come in packages of 8?
OMG that's how it is there?? It sounds like torture alright. I'll be right there to save you!!

*****************************
Mina writes:
We need to have a girl's night out at the Cantina sometime. We can have some shots; do some coyote ugly dances on the bar.
I'm totally there! But it will take more shots than you can imagine to get me up dancing on the bar!

Only question I really have is should I get a tattoo of the Jedi Symbol on my left or right breast?
I think if you get it on your left breast a black hole will open in the galaxy just above you and suck us all in. So please, for the sake of the universe, put it on the right. Or wait, maybe it was the other way around.... Well, doesn't matter. Do whatever.

Oh and please send the following Blog-O-Gram to my girl ewanandhaydenfan5:
Done!!

*****************************
Darth Vader groans:
Dear Oboe-Wan,
Are you unable to pay attention or something?
Hmm? Did somebody say something? o-+


*****************************
DarthRex0 reveals:
So, you are a Twi-lek that can use the Force.
Cool.
I don't think I have any questions.
Thank goodness, because I really don't have any answers

*****************************
jedimasternicks cries out
Thanks for the answers Oboe-Wan!
Why you're welcome!

Why did you have to kill her DV? I needed her autograph, I mean LOOK at her!
I'll be sure to bring it up with him when I see him. And yeah, LOOK at me!!

*****************************
holo-cron plots:

What is the best way to dispose a corpse? On a side note, is there a way I can do it with out getting out of my LazyBoy chair?

Why is that a side note? Just break out the Ranch Dipping Sauce.

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Jedi Arwen Skywalker worries:
When RU comin' back to your column? (is it a weekly?)
I'm coming back just long enough to answer your question! It isn't weekly, it's just answer 'em as they come. But things have died down now so I'll just put my feet up and think up new blogs on my own w/o stealing them from DV

*****************************
Yoda's Pink Uncle repeats:
Why is Oboe-Wan's lightsaber purple?
See blog and also just 'cuz


*****************************
handmaiden21 digs deep:
What's your favorite non-Star Wars movie? Do you have one?
Yes! Actually, I have several. I love "When Harry Met Sally" & the "Rush Hour" movies, LOTR, Indiana Jones, Singles, French Kiss.... I'm sure there's more I could add to this list, but does anyone really care?!


*****************************
Vader-fan#1 asks:
Do you have about $100 dollars.
Nope. I don't carry cash - just traveler's checks.

And why does Obi-wan's and Anakin's sabers look indigo?
It's all done with mirrors.

Also,um,uh,right!When are you getting out of the block.
Actually, he defrosted me after finding out what my middle name was.

And do you own any E11-blasters?I hear they're all the rage now.
Do you have any N11-blasters?They're a new brand.
I don't own any blasters. They're against the Jedi fashion code.

Finally,I want to know if you have any other color sabers?
Nope, just the one.