Star Wars: Blogs | Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy

Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy

by: Oboe-Wan

date posted: Jul 06, 2006 9:48 AM

Exploding Star Wars Toys Series

For $49.99 at Target, you too can own a wonderful Lego Slave 1. Padawan-Wan has been coveting this kit for well over a year, but Oboe-Wan & Hubby-Wan have not wanted to part with the funds necessary to purchase said kit. Last month, in the isolation chamber (aka the temporary dwellings in Massachusetts he was exiled to) Hubby-Wan decided to spoil the padawan and bought the Slave 1 kit.

After arriving on Tatooine at the end of June, Hubby-Wan presented Slave 1 to the padawan. He hit the roof (the padawan, not Hubby-Wan) and begged mommy & daddy to put the ship together. Sure thing, kid! This won't be a problem because two heads are better than one - especially when there are 300 tiny pieces all colored in varying shades of grey being manhandled by two musicians with over-use syndromes of their fingers. I think because musicians are so nimble with their chosen instruments people don't realize that we actually have a difficult time using our hands for anything but playing music. You see... when you train your hands for the task of playing an instrument, you develop muscles that normal people do not have. These bulky muscles actually make it very difficult to manuever tiny objects (like Legos...). You just have to trust me on this one... I'll show you my hands the next time we meet for lunch.

So the adults attempt to tackle the Lego Slave 1 while the padawan dances around us impatiently. "Are you done yet?" "Can I play with it yet?" Nope and nope. Every time we'd get one little bit together, he'd grab it away from us. Padawan-Wan has a "soundtrack" to his life which is basically just a low humming, so he'd grab a piece and fly it around the room with this humming! We'd have to fight him to get it back, so it was a race to see how much of the ship we could get together before he took it, broke stuff off & we'd have to start over.

We managed to get the ship together in what we thought was a lot of time - 2 hours. Figuring in the fact that we'd have to repair the ship after the padawan got his hands on it. Not great, but at least the ship is all in one piece now. Those of you who have put together this ship know that it also comes with a soft ended missle that shoots out of the ship... Ok, you see what's coming, don't you?

Hubby-Wan is all excited that he's going to be the one to put in the missle. He happily snaps it into place on the launcher, but he's not sure how to shoot it. He cradles the ship in one hand while using the other to feel around the ship for something that moves. He finds it, pushes it and..... KA-POW! Missle right to the face! There was a moment where I felt like I should have said something to the effect of, "Honey, maybe you should point it away from your face," but nah! It was more fun to see him pelted with a projectile!

By the way, our anniversary is July 12. Maybe I should get him a pair of safety goggles?

http://blogs.starwars.com/oboe-wan/66

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jedivnsnator
The Trash Compactor

date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 10:54 AM

I think because musicians are so nimble with their chosen instruments people don't realize that we actually have a difficult time using our hands for anything but playing music.

I disagree. I've been playing piano for 8 years now, and I still build the occasional model, with relative ease (assuming the instructions are in English). Although, that's probably partly due to the fact that I'm also an artist and have and tend to be incredibly detailed. What instruments do you and hubby-wan play?

He finds it, pushes it and..... KA-POW! Missle right to the face!

Just be glad the kit doesn't come with seismic charges...

nob01
Oil Bath Bubbles

date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 11:22 AM

A great story, and one that reminds me how I feel when I build a lego model (and I'm the wrong end of 30, but my wfie is very tolerant).

KA-POW! Missle right to the face!

This reminded me of a kid I knew when I was growing up who got all the best toys (the Boba Fett that you could look through the back of his helmet etc.), and once he got a gun that looked like one of the docking bays from the Battlestar Galactica ('79). This gun fired tiny, foam vipers, and he had coveted it for months. The day he got it, he loaded it up, and promptly shot his dad in the face with it.
I believe my descent to the Dark Side truly began when I heard his toy had been confiscated and I laughed uproariously for days.
Cheerio! nob01.

Master Jedi Michael
ANBU File 1262- Master Jedi Michael

date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 11:26 AM

Sounds like fun. My Dad built the Clone Turbo Tank model for me and I kept asking if it was done. I kept stealing bags that he needed so that I could build the clone troopers and the droids and the turret it came with. It took him like three days because we started it at night and the next two days that he worked on it he had to sleep during the day since he works the night shift.

He finds it, pushes it and..... KA-POW! Missle right to the face

That happened to me when I got the Anakin Transformer and I couldn't figure out how to shoot the lightsaber/missle and I had it pointed at my face and took a missle to the tooth.

MTFBWY

	rj_peters Memos from the Imperial Finance Department
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 12:17 PM Funny stuff! Kids and SW toys are just too fun. The Lego toys give me mixed feelings. I would love them (Legos are just fun), but I know my kiddos would destroy all that hard work in about 30 seconds. Perhaps when they're older. For now, I've limited them to Galactic Heroes figures and Darth Tater. Any Lego toys would be for Daddy's enjoyment only.

Padawan_Katis
Whispers From the Jedi Archives

date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 12:17 PM

I can understand. My brother got the LEGO Slave 1 for his birthday an d he happily spent two hours that evening putting it together. When he finally finished he happily help it up for all to see when the Slave 1 took an unexpected dive out of his hands and crashed onto the living room floor. The next hour was spent fixing the crashed Slave 1.

He finds it, pushes it and..... KA-POW! Missle right to the face!

I could see that one comming.

	Oboe-Wan Oboe-Wan's Hive of Scum & Villainy
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 1:27 PM I disagree. I've been playing piano for 8 years now, and I still build the occasional model, with relative ease I started playing piano at age 4 so that's 28 years of development. Give yourself another 20 years of focussing on this one skill & you'll see the damage wrought! I could see that one comming. so could I, that's why I chose not to warn him!!

	gold5 I lost Tiree, lost Dutch!..or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Death Star.
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 1:37 PM Hubby-wan ignored what the Force was saying at the top of its lungs he did. Impatience leads to inattentiveness, inattentiveness leads to being shot in the face. being shot in the face leads to suffering. Except for Oboe-wan who laughed her head tentacles off. Happy early anniversary wishes to the two of you.

	leialookalike1
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 3:14 PM I started playing piano at age 4 so that's 28 years of development. Give yourself another 20 years of focussing on this one skill & you'll see the damage wrought! how about 12? is that enough? I can put a kit together, but my brother is faster. Maybe that many years on a violin IS taking its toll. AAAAHHHH

	legodooku
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 3:22 PM Great Blog! I've collected the Star Wars lego line since it's beginning in 1999 and have had my fair share of "exploding" stuff. 1. Sith Infiltrator: Jumped for joy on getting the kit for my bday. Assembled it madly. Brought it to the kitchen to show my mom. Dropped it. KABOOM and Darth Maul is in need of a new ship. cont.

legodooku

date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 3:28 PM

2. AT-AT: I figured that the top of my ceiling high lego-shelf was the safest place for this walker. Safe from everything...expect the cat. Down goes this fragile, 1000 piece kit-and smashes to pieces on the floor, which is already covered in various other legos.

3. B-Wing: A casualty of the falling AT-AT. I had suspended my TIE Interceptor, B-wing, A-wing and other ships from the Battle of Endor from the ceiling, and the B-Wing was closest to the shelf holding the AT-AT. Down comes the Imperial Walker, ripping the bizarrely named heavy fighter of the rebels in half. Score one for the Empire!

	legodooku
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 3:30 PM Note Not to worry, the AT-AT and the B-Wing are repaired and ready for combat.

	clone1camander1vincent Vinnys army of Republic blogs
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 6:34 PM I have the same set. Its great lots of features.

	Master Jedi Michael ANBU File 1262- Master Jedi Michael
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 7:42 PM Down comes the Imperial Walker, ripping the bizarrely named heavy fighter of the rebels in half. Score one for the Empire! I don't know why but that made me laugh so hard just now! I just got the best mental image from that. The pilot of that AT-AT should be given an award! I t must be humiliating for a pilot when you can't outmanuver a walker. MTFBWY

	amidalooine The Emotional Galaxy
date Posted: Jul 06, 2006 10:28 PM Yikes! I thought I avoided Toys-That-Must-Be-Built because I'm lazy, but nOOOoooooOOOOooo. They're dangerous, to boot!!!

	Darth Vader Meditation Chamber
date Posted: Jul 07, 2006 4:53 PM LMAO! Next time you put together any LEGO ship, PLEASE video tape qourselves and upload it on Youtube or something like that! A webcam shooting a frame every 3-5 seconds woould do the trick too. PLEASE!

Peter Fett-Secura

date Posted: Jul 15, 2006 6:56 AM

LOL! This was a resounding rebound! Greatest Exploding SW!

Hubby-wan ignored what the Force was saying at the top of its lungs he did. Impatience leads to inattentiveness, inattentiveness leads to being shot in the face. being shot in the face leads to suffering. Except for Oboe-wan who laughed her head tentacles off.

Tentacles! Ugh! Lekku! And you call yourself a SW fan, jk.

	zach starwalker
date Posted: Oct 13, 2006 4:38 PM oh my god i cant remember the last time i put together a lego set from the box. but you guys are sure funny with these wacked out stories. i wonder if playing video games does the same thing as an oboe

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