I don't know why, but my son bounded into my room at 5:30am, poked me in the face and said, "Mommy? Why is Wicket scared of Leia's hat?" And that was all I needed to form a groggy brained vendetta against the little furry heroes of ROTJ.

In general, I feel pretty ambivalent toward Ewoks. Like most pre-teens and teenagers, I went through that phase where I was embarrassed for other people. I spent all of the 1980's feeling a bit embarrassed for Luke & Leia & Han that they have to deal with those little fuzz balls.

But of course, like all teenage behaviors, this one also dissipated. Now, the Ewoks are pretty innocuous, sometimes I even allow myself a quick moment to think, "They're kinda cute!" But not today. Perhaps it's because my son woke me up to complain about Wicket's hat issues, but ever since that moment, I have been annoyed at that Ewok.

So, let's see if I can't calm myself & perhaps save the Ewoks from my wrath. Why should Wicket be afraid of Leia's hat? After all, aren't all the ewoks wearing head coverings of some sort? The only ones who aren't wearing little hoods or hats are the babies (aren't they cute?) so obviously they aren't born with skin flaps shaped into hoods, they have to make those themselves. Why in the world, then, does Wicket suddenly forget what a hat is and flip out when Leia removes her helmet?

Of course I have an answer, I won't disappoint you my loyal readers by not coming up with a theory. Here's my thought: the only "people" the ewoks have seen so far are Imperials. Right? People to construct the bunker, the shield generator, scouts & soldiers. What if, like wounded dogs, the ewoks are afraid of humans with hats because an Imp took off his helmet & threw it at an ewok? Can't say I blame the guy - sometimes I feel like taking off my hat & throwing it at the ewok on my t.v. I'm guessing then Wicket was the one smacked w/a helmet since none of the other ewoks seem to care about Luke's. As far as Wicket knows, helmets are weapons.

Or what if Wicket was spying on some scout troopers, thinking already they looked a bit skull-like in those helmets when one of them took their helmet off to reveal a human face. Eww! That would make stormtroopers "backwards" - skeleton on the outside face on the inside. Yeah, that's gross. I'd poke my spear at that, too, if I were an ewok.

But the ewoks aren't as primitive as they act. Sure they don't have guns or technology, BUT they have constructed some awesome catapults & other contraptions around their village. They like us to think they're all "natural" and "animalistic" but really they're about as civilized as England under King Arthur.

Hats.

They have this thing all planned. Those rebels arrived thinking they were going to overthrow the Imperials but really, who did all the work? The ewoks. They were just waiting for someone to show up with a couple blasters to blow up the bunker and that's it. The Ewoks destroyed all the AT-ST's, ewoks hijacked an AT-ST (they just needed Chewie to drive it), ewoks subdued the stormtroopers & other Imps. Leia & Han were just there for show - put the fear of the rebellion into the bad guys, but Han & Leia had to adapt their plan to include what the ewoks had in mind.

Seriously, think those ewoks dammed up all those logs for the AT-ST's to trip on in 10 minutes before the battle? Nope. That'd been constructed months ago, just ready & waiting. What about the logs tied to opposite trees that smash into the AT-ST? You got it - that takes preparation, calculations, perhaps even a laser level to get it lined up properly.
No, these Ewoks were plotting, planning & preparing for this battle for a long time. They "let" the rebels "run the show" but we know who's really in charge...

This brings me back then to my son's original question: "Why is Wicket afraid of Leia's hat?" And now I think I have my answer: "Ewoks are wily, slippery little fellows not to be trusted. He's 'afraid' of the hat because he is smart and Leia is a sucker."