I have a topsy-turvy melodramatic relationship with the Internet. Oh, some days I adore it: the convenience of online shopping, the coolness of seeing aerial photography from around the world, the ability to instantly look up the name of that bad movie that starred what's-his-name and who's-that-guy.

Then, there's the dark side of it all - the realization that many of the people that have suddenly been given voices aren't really worth listening to, posts from 30-year old men declaring jihads against Mattel because their re-issue of the Man-E-Faces figure came with a mis-colored toe, or other examples that make me believe the slogan of one of my favorite websites (which I won't link to here): "The Internet Makes You Stupid."

But, like every otherwise powerless online pundit, I'm happiest when the Internet proves a point for me. And an article at Tech Central Station summed up an argument I've been having against the credulous for a while now. To sum up, it's this: flying saucers have never been real.

When compiling Lucasfilm Fan Club Magazine #8 for online publication (Hyperspace members can read it here), I was taken by a quote from Steven Spielberg who, in 1989, was still a firm believer in alien visitation of the planet Earth. There's a scene in Close Encounters of the Third Kind where a believer, challenged by the skeptical argument that no photographic evidence exists of UFO visitation, counters with the fact that there are no photos of plane crashes and other such rare but verifiable phenomena, yet no one doubts that plane crashes exists.

Later, during the press push for War of Worlds, Spielberg recanted his position of a decade earlier, using a variation of that very same argument. Now that everyone is carrying a camera with instant online publishing and forwarding capabilities, it seems a little suspicious that aliens have suddenly stopped visiting the planet. As for plane crashes, since the '90s, I've managed to see at least a dozen of them, on video or as still images. Heck, I'm sure there's enough for a FOX "World's Most Amazing Plane Crashes" TV special. Yet, there's not enough UFO photos to provide a single shred of evidence for this phenomenon.

Likewise, despite the proliferation of mini-DV camcorders, cell-phone cameras, and unrestricted blogs, there has yet to be no solid proof of ghosts, chupacabras, vampires, Loch Ness Monsters, hollow earths, or faerie-folk. Oh, there are websites that can dress up these fantastical creations with an air of authenticity, but in the end it's just some guy's website in some dusty corner of the net. Where's the unmistakable proof that should be available at our fingertips? Surely if the blogosphere and the media combined can ferret out specious claims of yellow cake uranium, we should be able to find absolute evidence of telekinetic ability or people who can really, honestly talk to the dead!

One of my heroes, James Randi, is still offering a million dollar reward to anyone who can prove paranormal powers under double-blind experimental conditions. That money isn't going anywhere.

So, while I'm proselytizing, let me share three of my most firmest held beliefs:

- Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.
- The natural, visible and scientifically-examined universe around us is more wonderous, magical, and awe-inspiring than the delusions of the credulous.
- Skepticism doesn't exist to say, "no this is not true," but rather, "okay, but isnt it far more likely that..."

RIP UFOs. From 1947 to 2005, you had a good ride. Look out ghosts, leprechauns and Bigfoot, you're next!

ph