Senator Amadalla, former Queen of Naboo, passed away earlier this week. Mourners were shocked to hear that her autopsy revealed that the morally conservative Padme was pregnant at the time of her death. When asked to comment the Gungan Boss Nass is reported to have replied: "Maybe wesa MORE than friends!" However, it is widely rumored that she was pregnant with the child of a Jedi lover, whom she secretly married a couple of years earlier on Naboo.

Jar Jar Binks was found dead yesterday in his three bedroom apartment on Corusant. The Gungan senator is believe to have committed suicide. Imperial authorities say he suffered insanity, as his suicide note revealed regret for having passed the motion to extend powers to then-Chancellor Palpatine (now, of course, Supreme Emperor). The Empire acknowledges that while the Gungan had public loyalties to Palpatine, he was also known to keep company with the traitorous Jedi and may have been under the spell of a Jedi Mind Trick when he wrote the final message and took his life.

The spirit of Qui-Gonn Jinn has reportedly been seen in the Imperial Palace. The Empire testifies that these are inane rumors and that no such visions have been seen by anyone. Merely a little too much celebrating the Empire's glorious rise to power.

In other news, Prince Han Solo of Corellia turned seven-years-old today.