In Carrie Fisher's book, DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA, she makes the statement "it costs so much to get off this planet". Her character was remarking this because she was laying to rest a friend who had died of AIDS.

Throughout the "Star Wars" films people leave planets all the time, in starships, but in reality most of us only leave once, via a spirit ride to Heaven or Hell.

I recently was given some news. The mean age for people who have my congenital disease pass away around 37-years-old. I am five years away from that age.

Now before you rush to make comments "That's just an average, you could live to be much older", please know that I am not concerned with the length of my life, but making a difference in the lives of others.

In January of this year I took a position as pastor. The former minister was retiring and he and his wife go South three months out of the year. I was eager to fulfill God's call on my life. However, the pastor returned in April stating that he never retired and that he didn't realize anyone was in the process of taking the position.

This, obviously, was very difficult to find out and, although I believe the LORD wanted me there, I also believe that when you fight for something, sometimes, the fighting turns it wrong. I do not want to be upset or angry with anyone; including fellow pastors.

However, this puts me in an awkward position. I need to find another job (fast) and it will probably be a non-Church career. Why? Because it is a LONG process to become a pastor (in nearly every situation).

I am concerned about finding another position quickly and I am concerned about health care. I am currently paying Cobra $440 a month (a lot for me).

Why am I telling you this? Good question. I guess because my family and friends have heard about all they can take. Because I am hoping some of you will at least lift up a prayer for me while, or after, you are reading this.

I know I have a different perspective on life having a chronic illness from birth. I realize that it is "more blessed to give than to receive" and that SOMEONE has to be the receiver, I think many people have been blessed by giving to me. Nevertheless, I like to give, too.

Well, thanks for letting me have your ear for a moment. Forgive the spelling errors.