You've seen these things before. Those "personality surveys" that get passed around to you by your friends via email. The ones where you fill in your name, where you live, who your favorite sports teams are, the last meal you ate, etc, then you pass them on to all your friends' email accounts.

A long time ago, I was on a Star Wars chatroom where somebody had the brilliant idea of filling out these surveys as a Star Wars character. We all got into it, and much fun was had by all.

So now I thought I'd start my first blog entry with one such survey, as none other my favorite SW character, Darth Vader, circa ESB.

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NAME: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith

NICKNAMES: Lord Vader; Apprentice; "sorceror"

SEX: Male

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: I have my own quarters on Coruscant, but I also have a cool castle on Vjun.

HEIGHT: 2.0 meters

EYES: These days they're mostly red & yellow.

HAIR: *grumbles*

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOLONET SHOW? "The Empire's Most Wanted"

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Nothing.

FAVORITE MAGAZINE: The Imperial Journal of Skin Grafting

FAVORITE SMELL: A moot question, since my ventilator has excellent filters.

FAVORITE COLOR: Black

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Knowing that had I a little more patience, I wouldn't be walking around in this armored suit.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Discovering that my son lives, and that I have a potential successor.

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Go joyriding in the Emperor's shuttle; Intimidate Fleet officers.

FAVORITE MUSIC: I have a mix recording of incompetents being choked and strangled.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? How can I overthrow the Emperor?

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Hardly. Ever seen my TIE X-1 prototype? That thing hauls.

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Boring. (See previous answer regarding my TIE fighter.)

PEN OR PENCIL? I use my underlings to record things.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I used to respond to my Master immediately, but the "caught in an asteroid field" excuse always works when I want to take my time.

FAVORITE FOODS: Processed proteins that are inserted into my armor. Tastes like baby food.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? I loved my mother. I had no father.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: I've disobeyed my Master a few times, but he didn't do much, because he knows he needs me to enforce his will.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? My armor can't take either.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? I particularly enjoy test-driving new fighter prototypes.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? No.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? My Master doesn't allow pets indoors.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? After I escaped the destruction of the Death Star, I crashed on a planet with many wild creatures. I briefly became the alpha leader of a pack of animals after defeating their prior leader in combat. A most rewarding experience.

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? Insignificant, next to the power of the Force.

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Obi-Wan Kenobi. I have a score to settle with that fool.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Armor can't handle alcohol.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? "Make way for Lord Vader." (That is what you meant, right?)

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Even if my armor could take them, I still wouldn't eat them.

GUYS--WOULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR SHIRT FOR A GIRL? There was only one woman I would have done this for, but she's now dead. Delete this answer.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? To become the Master of the Dark Side.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Hair color? I find your sense of humor disturbing.

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? Who needs tattoos when you have scars?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes, once. Delete this answer.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: One that I wouldn't have to keep secret. Delete this answer.

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? I care not for decorations.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? This is the 4th question you've asked about ingesting food after I've stated my intake is limited. Don't fail me again.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? That does it. *Force chokes*

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous, although my range of motion is still somewhat limited.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? My cybernetic fingers tend to destroy keypads, so I don't bother. I've got the underlings, remember?

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? I don't have a bed.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: The 501st.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A blue & chrome podracer.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? A replica of my blue & chrome starfigther, the one that was destroyed on Yavin by Asajj Ventress.

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: The emperor's minions scurrying for his favor. As if they'd ever supplant me...

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Admiral Piett at least knows how to follow my orders.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: The Emperor. He can practically read my thoughts anyway, so why bother?