Wow, long time no write. It's been so busy first with Thanksgiving, then finals in school, and finally the holiday season. I kept meaning to write but it kept getting pushed further and further back as more pressing instances arose.

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago who is a huge Star Wars fan and it completely surprised me. I guess I didn't expect her to be a big fan of the movies or the whole universe. Eventually I got to finding out that she is a HUGE fan of Boba Fett and is working on a costume so that she can join the 501st Legion. We discussed how I am working on my prequel Jedi Knight costume so I can possibly join the Rebel Legion... which got me to thinking a random thought: what attracts us to certain characters in the Star Wars universe?

I am working on a prequel Jedi Knight costume, but more specifically one that looks very similar to Qui-Gon Jinn's. I love Qui-Gon. I think if he had not died in The Phantom Menace, Anakin's outcome as a person would have been quite different. Nothing against Obi-Wan because I do believe that Obi-Wan did the best he could. But Anakin had a natural trust for Qui-Gon. I believe Qui-Gon was wise though he did not always follow the Jedi Council. I liked his patience and love for those around him. He was slightly rebellious but I think he still weighed all his decisions carefully. Why am I more attracted to a character like Qui-Gon Jinn?

With that thought, I wondered why my friend was more inclined to lean towards Boba Fett. She seems to be more of a stable, in control, calm person. And Boba Fett definitely lives on the edge of his seat.

At first I thought that perhaps the good people tend to lean towards the antagonists (Sith, Bounty Hunters, Assassins, Empire, etc.) because they hold everything that they are not and people with bad tendencies lean towards the protagonists (Jedi, Rebellion, etc.). It seemed to make sense: you are attracted to your opposite.

Yet the more I thought about it... it just doesn't make sense. There are times when I would love to step into a ruthless assassin's skin for a day or two and shed the Jedi identity that I love so much. To have a costume that is crazily complicated and different and says "Don't mess with me" as opposed to the (at times) boring jedi outfit.

In the end, for me, I realized that the reason why I love Qui-Gon and the Jedi is because they are what I always aspire to be, and maybe I will never be like them. Like I said in a previous blog, I don't have the temperament to be a Jedi. I'd fit in better in Jabba's palace or another place with a bunch of misfits. But that is why I am attracted to the Jedi. They are what I will never be.