This blog entry is coming out of a thought I had while reading Jade Sabre's latest entry.

I've always admired the internal strength that Padmé and Leia possess. They both seem to know what they want and they don't deny themselves. In my daily life I always try listen to what my internal feelings are telling me. Maybe you could call it my "soul"? I think that everyone has this part of them that fluctuates and if it's filled with uncertainty, it begins to gnaw at you and slowly eats you away. After a while all you can think about is this thing, this unsettled feeling.

Padmé knew when to leave Anakin and when to realize she had no future with him. She fought it, though, and you can tell in ROTS that a lot of her emotions seem to consist of either extreme sadness or crying. I remember the first time I saw ROTS and I thought back on Padmé's character, I was upset because I thought, "All she did was cry the whole movie." Now, I think that perhaps she realized deep down that Anakin was not the person she once knew but she was fighting and denying that fact. At the end of ROTS when she realizes that she can no longer be with him, the decision tears at her but she sticks with it. I completely admire that.

I also loved watching Padmé in all of Episode I. As a queen at only age 14 she showed amazing skill at adapting to situations. One of my favorite scenes is when she goes to the senate to plead the case of Naboo being held by the Trade Federation. The one line she says, "I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while we discuss this invasion in a committee," gives me goose bumps. She wants to action being done, and she wants to see it now. Her reign must have been formidable.

There are a couple of scenes with Leia that I love, two noticeably being when she doesn't give in to the interrogation droid and when Luke tells her that they're related and that Darth Vader is their father. With the interrogation droid...you think it's all over. The fear on her face is quite plain when it enters the cell - yet she doesn't give in. The closest she comes to telling them the rebel base location is when she wants to save an entire planet from destruction. And even then, she gives them a false location. That takes some fast thinking.

The second moment, with Luke's revelation, is where I see more of Padmé coming out in Leia. It's shocking enough to find out that you're good friend is your brother but then to find out that a sinister Sith Lord is your father - I might go into hysterics at that point. And yet, she knew, somehow she always knew, and dealt with what he said very well. She takes her fear and makes it her strength. Fear that Luke might not come back, that Vader is her father, and that she might be the only hope for the alliance: she takes it all and churns it into something she can deal with.

It was two weeks ago that I realized something wasn't sitting right in my life. I fought with it and struggled to ignore it but in the end I realized that I had to end something and I wanted to end it then. It was hard because I felt like it would be easier to pretend everything was ok and I was fine, but sometimes even too much pretending gets hard. I thought back to Padmé and Leia and the choices they make. If they had strength, so can I. And I guess that's what can be amazing about the Star Wars universe and the characters, they are relatable and not one-sided.