If only the Jedi had watched Law & Order, they would have been so much better prepared. Just imagine...

Scenario One

Qui Gon stands before the Jedi Council.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millenium.
Yoda: On Law & Order, how many times have we seen the Jedi important warnings ignore because blinded, they were, by arrogance and complacency?
Mace Windu: If even one Sith survived the wars, he could have rebuilt the order in secret. We should not dismiss Qui Gon's report so quickly.
Yoda: And sit on our hands we should not. Investigate immediately, we will.

Later, still in the Council chamber.
Mace Windu: Queen Amidala called for a vote of no confidence at Senator Palpatine's suggestion. Now he is one of the main candidates for Chancellor. I think we've seen enough episodes of Law & Order to connect the burn to the blaster.
Yoda: Investigate Palpatine's every move for the last fifty years, we should.
Yaddle (because she deserves a line!): Second the motion, I do.
Obiwan, appearing in holographic form: I apologize for my intrusion, but I have news that cannot wait. My master was correct. The Sith have returned.
Yoda: Certain, it is?
Obiwan: We fought him. He... I regret to inform the Council that Qui Gon Jinn is one with the Force.
Mace Windu: These are indeed grave tidings. It is imperative that we investigate this matter. We must know how the Sith survived--and whether there are more of them.
Yoda: Two suspicious characters we have now, hmm? The Sith, and the Senator. Connected are they, do you think?
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Why don't we inform Palpatine of the Sith threat and see how he reacts?
Mace Windu: And make the investigation of his activities our number one priority. Set every Jedi not engaged in an absolutely critical mission on this task.
Yoda: Nip this crisis in the bud, we will.

Naboo.
Palpatine: We'll be watching your career with great interest.
Yoda: Knew it, I did! The Sith Lord he is!
Mace Windu: Chancellor Palpatine, you're under arrest for ordering the murder of Qui Gon Jinn, conspiracy to murder Queen Padme Naberrie Amidala, conspiracy to invade a Republic planet, practicing and teaching the way of the Sith, clouding the Force, improper conduct toward the Chosen One, and the attempted overthrow of the Galactic Republic. You have the right to remain silent...

Scenario Two

Anakin: Just the thought of seeing her again is intoxicating.
Obiwan: Wait a minute. I think I've seen an episode like this. Passionate young padawan, equally passionate young senator...master gives his apprentice the brush-off...mistrust on all sides...ends in a multiple homicide...Well, one thing's for certain: you're not going on any missions alone with Senator Amidala until we get this straightened out. I don't want to find out three years from now you got married in secret and you don't trust me anymore.
Anakin: Master--
Obiwan: I must also apologize to you. I realize I've been overly critical of you because I want to prove I'm capable of training the Chosen One and would make Qui Gon proud, but I haven't told you everything you've done well or how I love you like a son. I only want the best for you. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to hold you back and get homicidal intentions toward me.
Anakin: ...homicidal? Master, you've been watching Law & Order again, haven't you?
Obiwan: Well--that is to say--
Anakin: No, I think this might be a good thing. Go on.
Obiwan: I was thinking we should sit down with Master Yoda and see if we can't work something out.
Anakin: I must have heard wrong. You mean you'd to change the Code or make an exception for me?
Obiwan: Not necessarily, but we should at least give the matter our full consideration. And I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings or hard feelings for any of us.
Anakin: Ok then! Thanks, Master! I really appreciate everything you've done for me.

Scenario Three

Palpatine: You don't need guidance, Anakin. I can see you are becoming the most powerful of all Jedi.
Anakin: You know, you've done nothing but flatter me and tell me how different I am from other Jedi since we met. That is a little peculiar, considering you're the Supreme Chancellor and I'm just a padawan. And you started acting this way when I was ten. What do you want from me, exactly?
Palpatine: Want from you? Why, nothing but a sympathetic ear, my friend--and perhaps a hero to admire. I need someone to look up to as much as anyone.
Anakin: Um, sure. And you'll conveniently drive a wedge between the promising young apprentice and the rest of the Jedi at the same time. I've seen this in a hundred episodes. Padme mentioned you were talking to a few people about wanting more control over the Order, now that I think about it...I just wish things didn't get so muddled in my head when I'm around you. It's almost as if...hey, wait a minute! Dooku was telling the truth! A Sith is in control of the Senate!
Anakin sends a Force-call for help. Thirty Jedi on minor business nearby rush in.
Mace Windu: Check all these statues for hidden compartments.
Kit Fisto: A lightsaber. Red.
Yoda: At an end your power grab is, Chancellor. Under arrest, you are.
Palpatine: Alas, the Jedi were not as slow to adapt to the changing times as I had thought.
Yoda: Fortunate, it is, that kept up on popular entertainment we have.


Due to the success of the original Law & Order, several spinoff shows are set to be launched. Law & Order: ARC follows the missions of Jedi generals and the elite clone trooper squads under their command, Law & Order: SI (Senate Investigation) covers the special committes formed to investigate Senate corruption, Law & Order: LC (Loyalist Committee) portrays the struggle of a group of dedicated senators to preserve the Republic in its darkest days, and Law & Order: Trial By Jedi experiments with the reality-show format, exposing the inner workings of the Jedi Council and the justice the masters dispense to members the Order. Check your local listings for premier dates.