We all know that Padme and Leia have wild hairdstyles. Looking cool is important in movies, so I forgive George. At least they have the sense to wear their hair up. But the EU novels are different entirely: it seems like every other female character has long, even waist-length, hair which she wears down, no matter how many action sequences she gets herself involved in. Not bloody likely!

If these characters were all in comics, I could understand; flowing hair makes a cool visual. But why do the novel characters try to impress us with their long hair fluttering about them as they sprint away from the Baddie of the Week? We can't see them! Saying a character has "curly blonde hair falling to just above her hips" does not trigger the "cool" response as a visual image would. And it gets old really quickly.

I wonder if these (universally male, if I remember correctly) authors have ever tried battling Nightsisters or Yuuzhan Vong while spitting out mouthfuls of hair. Not to mention trying to see past the frizzy curtain that just won't get out of their eyes. (Luke could probably use long hair instead of blast helmets to train his students to rely on the Force.) If their hair has even the tiniest bit of wave, they can forget going anywhere humid. And don't forget the horrible, impossible-to-untangle knots they would be forced to cut out after every battle. After a few scuffles, they'd be looking like mangy dogs.

And how come no one these women fight ever thinks to just grab a chunk of hair and yank? What kind of lame excuses for villains are these? Are they really just too polite or too proud to stoop to pulling hair? I don't think so!

Long hair also has a tendancy to get caught in machinery, low tree branches, drawers--just about everything, really. That could make escapes more interesting, or at least different. Just imagine: you're running out the door when suddenly your head snaps back almost to the neck-breaking point because it got caught in the door. Or: you're diving down one of the ubiquitous shafts when suddenly you find yourself suspended by your hair--if you didn't get half your scalp torn off. Yet I can't remember a single instance of deliberate or accidental hair-pulling in all my EU readings. (If anyone does have an example, I'd like to know! I might have forgotten.)

A smart long-haired character would pin her hair to her head like Leia in ESB, where it would be completely out of her way. There's still the risk that your hair will come loose and get in your eyes anyway, or send a pin flying at someone like a blunt Kaminoan saber dart, and it would take longer to get ready every day, but it would be the most practical long hair style, especially if they have super hair gel in the Star Wars galaxy.

But what do we get in the EU? Teneniel Djo with her long red-brown hair whipping in the wind. Her daughter Tenel Ka with her long, loose red hair and dozens of tiny braids (which would hurt when they whipped into her eyes! kind of like Padawan braids...). Danni Quee with her loose, waist-length, curly blonde hair. (How much did she have to pay to import conditioner to the outpost?) I believe Tahiri Veila has long curly blonde hair as well, but I'm sketchy on the length. Jaina is described as having "long" hair by the time the NJO opens, and she usually wears it down. This is ridiculous. Teneniel Djo was raised as a warrior--why was she running around with long, loose hair when she bashed Luke over the head? It's only when she's safely home that she bothers to put on a headband. Tenel Ka also considered herself primarily a Dathomirian warrior and a Jedi for years. Only as Hapan royalty would she have any reason to wear an impractical hairstyle, and she spent much of her life trying to pretend she and Hapes had nothing to do with each other, so what's with her bunch of braids in the Young Jedi Knights books? Danni is introduced as basically a tomboy working in a scientific base in a remote wilderness. She doesn't sound like the type to have waist-length hair in the first place, let alone leave it down while she's out fixing receivers and fending off local predators and whatnot. Three years out there should have taught her the value of a scrunchy. Or scizzors.

Long-haired Jedi have a further problem: long hair + lightsabers = BAD. Even if you kept your lightsaber at arm's length, you might not be able to avoid slicing some of the ends, and if you actually fight, you'll probably get a haircut. I think the Jedi have better things to use their concentration for than keeping their loose hair out of the way of their blades with the Force.

No, I don't want to hear all about every detail of every character's hairstyle every time they do something with it. But I think authors are missing out on a useful tool here. Hair-yanking would be a nice change from the more usual attacks. And remember Violet from A Series of Unfortunate Events, who pulls her hair back when she's thinking? When I read that, I immediately thought, "Hey! Why couldn't Jaina have done the same thing in Young Jedi Knights and pulled her hair back when she was tinkering instead of constantly brushing it out of her eyes?" And Tenel Ka could have kept some sort of Dathomirian Warrior Scrunchy around her wrist so that most of the time, she had her cool braids, and when she sensed that things were about to get serious, she'd pull it back. The use of the scrunchy could have been a great "uh-oh" cue: "Jaina glanced behind her and saw that Tenel Ka had pulled her hair back. 'You think there's going to be trouble too?' 'This is a fact,' Tenel Ka replied grimly." I cheered when Jaina braided her hair in Dark Tide I after she joined the Rogues and the author actually realized he could use it as a sign of character change. Finally! Now, if the change had been from messy, improvised half-ponytail to neat braid I would have been even happier, but KJA and RM didn't give Jaina the messy, improvised half-ponytail. Oh, well. I still found that little description very satisfying. And while I was half-kidding above about Luke using hair instead of a blast shield for training, that actually could work with some modification. Suppose a Jedi-in-training forgets to pull her hair back, can't see her opponent, and has to learn to rely on the Force instead of her eyes very quickly under pressure? It's realistic, it could be funny or dramatic... what's not to like?

Conclusion: please, EU authors, before you're tempted to create yet another fluttery-haired character, walk a mile in their hair. Make a wig out of yarn if you have to. And think about how a character might actually deal with such hair!