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Sunnyskywalker's Star Wars Stuff
date posted: Sep 17, 2005 11:09 PM  |  updated: Dec 31, 2005 8:40 PM
"Elementary, my dear Traw'atso'nudono."
From various points in the chronology and in no particular order...

-Thrawn has an underling named Watson. Not going to happen. Especially not if Watson was ever a doctor.

-Boba Fett sells pictures of Leia on the sail barge to Beings magazine. Soon after, the song "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini" blasts up the charts. Leia sues them all.

-During the heroes' downtime, they encounter a ship that improbably popped over from a galaxy far, far away. A two-headed, three-armed humanoid invites them in for Pangalactic Gargle Blasters, his semi-cousin asks if they'd like to borrow some towels, and their robot gets Threepio depressed. A strange holobook tells them not to panic.

-Kindergarten Thrawn studies his classmates' coloring books and concocts a brilliant plan to become line-leader after recess. Only so he can unify the class and defend them against those meanie-mo first graders, of course!

-Leia starts a chain of health food stores with the slogan, "Don't Panic, It's Organa-ic!"

-Tahiri informs everyone that the Vong like to hang out in Chalmun's Cantina in Mos Eisley because there they can be assured of a droid-free drinking experience.

-To celebrate the NR/Imperial peace treaty, in the spirit of letting bygones be bygones, Leia and Pellaeon organize a "Rebs and Imps" party complete with Death Star disco ball.

-Pimply teenaged Thrawn studes the data pad doodles of that cute girl in his Honors Strategy class and concocts a brilliant plan to get her to go to the prom with him.

-The Solo and Fel children find out the real reason Han and Soontir didn't get along back in their Academy days: while celebrating the end of their first week of classes with a few dozen close friends, they had too much to drink and ended up dancing on the table singing "Barbie Girl" in nothing but their boxer-briefs; each blamed the other for this unfortunate incident.

-Padawan Learner Yoda doesn't like to make lightsabers. He wants to be...a dentist! On Hoth! For the Abominable Wampa!

-Han gets tired of the whole flying thing and takes up nerfherding.

-Rogue Squadron raises money by selling Naked Rogue calendars.

-Someone takes Ackbar out for seafood and orders calamari.

-Isolder writes a book called The Masculine Mystique which becomes a best-seller in the Hapes Consortium and fuels the growing men's-lib movement.

-Luke finds out Mara's terrible secret: she's not really a redhead!

-Edna Mode tells Mara her jumpsuit of the day looks like pajamas and then goes chasing after Lando yelling, "No capes!"

-It turns out that what Uncle Owen meant by Luke wasting time with his friends was playing Palace Dungeons and Krayt Dragons.

-Luke and Mara decide to cash in on their youthful good looks and help others look good too...for a price. "Better than Botox: The Force!" "Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe it's the Force."

-Mara teaches Jaina to shave her legs with a lightsaber.

-"He's dead, Jinn."

  Rive Caedo
Rive's Uncharted Settlements
date Posted: Sep 17, 2005 11:22 PM
-Mara teaches Jaina to shave her legs with a lightsaber.

Why not? The EU needs more severed limbs to keep up with the films. B-)
  Grand Jedi Master Eeth Koth
The Insights of Master Koth
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 3:44 AM
Even the great Master Eeth Koth has nothing to say at this point...
XWING_FIVE
Anakin's Yellow Starfighter
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 5:55 AM
"Organa-ic?" Classic! Good Stuff!!
Bekkara
The Wroshyr Tree
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 7:48 AM
*rofl* I can just hear the words to "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini"...

o/~She...wore....an...
Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini
That's what she wore to the Sail Barge that day....o/~

  jedi_abba
"Lets Blow this thing and go home!"
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 8:37 AM
-Padawan Learner Yoda doesn't like to make lightsabers. He wants to be...a dentist! On Hoth! For the Abominable Wampa!


A quite wise dentist he would be.
  Sunnyskywalker
Sunnyskywalker's Star Wars Stuff
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 10:11 AM
"Brush and floss twice a day, you must! Attachment to plaque, you must avoid!"
  Darth maul1994
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 11:49 AM
"Avoid attachment to sugary snacks ,you must,hmmmm!!":D
By the way, why does this happen?:| ?:| ]:) ]:) ]:) ]:)

Circumstances, circumstances, circumstances
  PrincessJessieSkywalker
The Tatooine Dream
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 1:50 PM
That was really cute...LOL :D
  lia_nailo
Random Ruminations of a SW Fangirl
date Posted: Sep 18, 2005 10:50 PM
Boba Fett sells pictures of Leia on the sail barge to Beings magazine. Soon after, the song "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini" blasts up the charts. Leia sues them all.

When I thought it couldn't get any funnier than that ...

It turns out that what Uncle Owen meant by Luke wasting time with his friends was playing Palace Dungeons and Krayt Dragons.

I play D&D, so that was really good ... but then the crowning glory ...

"He's dead, Jinn."

Too, too funny!

:^O
  Graffiti
Somewhere on the Other Side of Mos Eisley
date Posted: Sep 19, 2005 10:45 AM
Hilarious! My favorite is Edna Mode yelling at Lando about his cape.
and
"Brush and floss twice a day, you must! Attachment to plaque, you must avoid!" :^O

Great way to start off the work week. Thanks!
  Red Devil 7
Can You Handle the Cuteness?
date Posted: Sep 19, 2005 7:49 PM
Isolder writes a book called The Masculine Mystique which becomes a best-seller in the Hapes Consortium and fuels the growing men's-lib movement.

Haha! Great stuff mate, great stuff.
Artemisz
Mind Probe
date Posted: Sep 21, 2005 6:30 PM
Han gets tired of the whole flying thing and takes up nerfherding
LOL:^O
  Darth maul1994
date Posted: Sep 24, 2005 2:01 PM
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  jainasolo104
date Posted: Sep 24, 2005 2:43 PM
[b]Organa-ic.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.:^O
  Sunnyskywalker
Sunnyskywalker's Star Wars Stuff
date Posted: Sep 25, 2005 10:17 PM
Glad you all are entertained. I had fun thinking these up. Thanks for the comments!

The dentist thing is a little obscure, I know. Has anyone else seen the 1964 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer animated movie with Burl Ives as (the voice of) Sam the Snowman? And, more to the point, Hermey the elf, who doesn't like to make toys and wants to be a dentist?

I don't know why the images of young Yoda and Hermey merged in my mind. Maybe it was because of the Yoda Claus.
  Red Devil 7
Can You Handle the Cuteness?
date Posted: Sep 26, 2005 6:24 PM
Oh yeah, I remember that little elf who wanted to be a dentist! Good times, good times. :D
  Master Starkeiller
POWWWAAAAHHH!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNLIMITEEED POWWWAAAAHHH!!!
date Posted: Sep 29, 2005 7:16 AM
Great job, you had me laughing in front of my screen! :^O
  lia_nailo
Random Ruminations of a SW Fangirl
date Posted: Sep 29, 2005 9:35 PM
I caught the dentist thing, and that one was highly entertaining as well. Well, really, they all were ... but i had to pick out my three favorites for my previous post. :D
  Marka Ragnos60
date Posted: Oct 04, 2005 6:37 PM
Lol:^O.I totally got every one but the funniest one was the Edna Mode One LOL.:^O
  Marka Ragnos60
date Posted: Oct 04, 2005 6:40 PM
Hey if any of you didn't get the edna mode i have a link the website where you can buy the movie and see for your self.www.theincredibles.com
  Marka Ragnos60
date Posted: Oct 05, 2005 9:56 AM
sorry the last one's website wasn't correct i have the correct website right here.just go to trailers and then go to "no capes".http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/incredibles/
  jediracer41
Jediracer
date Posted: Dec 06, 2005 2:52 PM
you do realize you now have to post another blog with the WORDS to "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini."
I can't decide which was the funniest...I may have to go with Edna, because I can totally see that on my mental theater...there could be a fan film in here.
  ZemonaSekot
Should there be EU media past the litterature?
date Posted: Jan 01, 2006 10:06 PM
that'll do nicely.
  MasterFisto86
date Posted: Jan 10, 2007 10:03 AM
Hilarious, that's all I can say and I agree you need to post a blog with the wors to
"Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini."
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