So once in a while at TheForce.net, someone will boldly challenge us all to write about someone from the GFFA doing completely normal things. For example, Padme changing diapers, Luke doing dishes or Leia ordering pizza. That sort of thing. I always like those because it's fun to get back to the ordinary. I even used it myself recently when I had Leia and her mother standing around in the kitchen and teasing each other about their cooking skills.

Well, then there's the wacky side of the coin. What aobut the Star Wars characters doing stuff that yes, we all deal with, but on a whole new level of insanity?

This week, for some reason, I got a plot bunny because of my job as an American Express retention agent. Frequently, we deal with people who believe they have been victims of identity theft and we have to take certain steps to remedy the situaion. (Mostly, we pass them off to the fraud department, but we sound all sympathetic and stuff for the first 3 minutes so we can figure out what's going on.) Because of my job, I got the idea of identity theft as it applies to the Empire, namely that Darth Vader could have used Anakin Skywalker's accounts and credibly been prosecuted for fraud.

Then, of course, there was the story where Luke Skywalker is trying to get his new hand after Bespin and has to deal with the Alliance's crappy insurance program, which has an Accidental Death and Dismemberment clause, but gives him trouble for not being with his squadron when it happened.

So, what's next? The tabloids take a crack at how close Luke and Leia are? Vader fills out his tax forms for the first time since he learned about Luke and has to think about how many dependents he wants to claim? Leia has her credit card declined because they couldn't send her billing statements while she was on the run and have now defaulted her accounts?

Suggestions?

Oh, and if you want hard-core insanity, my friend Steve convinced my roommate Kate that ET was a Jedi. She relayed it to me and we agreed that it made a creepy kind of sense. Then she requested that I write a story in which the Jedi are looking for a lost Padawan named Ee-Tee, who has gone missing for 88 days so far.

If you want to find some of this locura, go to www.fanfiction.net/~darthishtar