After the publication of our successful self-help guides 'An Idiot's Guide to Surviving the Jedi Purge' and 'An Idiot's Guide to Falling to the Dark Side' we received a number of complaints that we were only catering to the delusional bunch known as 'Force-sensitives'.

In the interest of equal opportunities, and on the advice of our lawyers, we here at Galactic Idiot Guiding Publications present an easy guide to becoming the sort of scum that Imperial officers don't think they need (but actually do).

STEP 1: Looking The Part
Now, you can't just go around in your jeans and t-shirt claiming to be a bounty hunter. It might work for 'Dog', but people will just laugh at you. What you need is a really cool outfit that says "I mean business and not the investment banking kind". You need to be as individual as possible but successful hunters have tried everything from extensive bandages to a head made out of a drink dispenser from Mos Eisley. One hunter, named Bossk, decided to wear a flightsuit two sizes to small. Frankly, he looked ridiculous, but I'm not going to tell him that and neither should you. The best dressed bounty hunters have always been the Mandalorians, but we'll deal with them in a moment.

STEP 2: Guns, Lots Of Guns
Having the right tools is vital to any tradesperson and if your trade is hunting then the right tool is a massive hand-cannon. No respectable bounty hunter will ever be seen out without a gun far larger than they could possibly use effectively. In the case of a gentlebeing named D'harhan he replaced his head with a blaster cannon. His entire head! We don't necessarily recommend this because at a recent rock concert D'harhan killed 72 people whilst headbanging. The exception to the big guns theory has always been the Mandalorians, but we'll deal with them in a moment.

STEP 3: Pimp Your Ride
As an intergalactic menace you can't be seen travelling around in some clapped out heap of junk. Leave that to your smuggler prey! Instead you will need a heavily armed but reasonably sized starship with room for prisoners, storage space for carbonite blocks and a minibar. The majority of hunters go for elite prototype spacecraft, but it's just as much fun to take a standard vessel and mod it up to the max. Beware: lowering the suspension on starships just means you'll land badly! The coolest hunting vessel by far was Slave I, but it was owned by the Fetts and we'll deal with them in a moment.

STEP 4: Crimelords, Gangsters And Sith, Oh My!
Now you've got the gear you need to find someone willing to pay for your services. It is a sad but true fact that most of you patrons will be evil and this may rub off. Two notable hunters, 4-LOM and Zuckuss, tried to set up a Hunters Guild associated with the New Republic, but with a government founded by rebels, smugglers and farmboys you're never going to get steady work. Hutts are your best friends, in a business sense. They always need someone killed or captured, with Jabba the Hutt being the single largest employer of hunters. We should warn you that whilst the food and accomodation at Jabba's Palace are good, the entertainment varies greatly; Princess in her underwear = Good, green woman being eaten alive = bad. If you can find a Sith to work for, they pay even better than the Hutts. They do, however, value their privacy and can be a bit, how shall we say, tetchy... The Fetts found work with both Hutts and Sith, but we'll deal with them in a moment.

STEP 5: Mandomania!
Mandalorians and more specifically the Fetts have long been acknowledged as the best bounty hunters. This is a fact. Don't annoy them (unless you're a Jedi with one of these surnames; Dooku, Windu, Storm, Katarn or Korr). Don't interfere with their hunts. And for the love of Keldabe don't dress up like them and go around saying you are them (look up a Mr Kast, Jodo in the obituaries)! Should you happen to run afoul of a Mandalorian just hope they don't have a New Zealand accent (although even this might not save you if you're living in the pre-DVD re-edit Galaxy Far, Far Away).

And finally;

STEP 6: Solo And Thanks For All The Fish
Under no circumstances should you accept a bounty for a gentleman named Han Solo. We don't care how much you're offered, we guarantee that it won't go well for you. I mean, have you read 'The Hutt Gambit'?! Solo is to bounty hunters what Rentokill is to rats. The only hunter who's ever had any success is Boba Fett and even he ended up a Sarlacc snack. Do you want that to be you? Jeez...


You need not forward any monies to us for this course, it'll all part of our Galactic Community Service. Damned Imperial judges...
We would've got away with it too if it weren't for those meddling Mandos...