Maybe I'm just all country, or maybe I'm just overly eclectic in my film tastes, but it is my honest opinion that Star Wars needs a cowboy.

We've got so many nods to stereotypes within the films, we need a sweet The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly style cowpoke to rustle up grub and herd shaaks. The Neimoidians and Nien Nunb's species mirror Americanized stereotypes of our Asian friends, the Gungans are frog gene-spliced clones of the bobsled team in Cool Runnings, Lando is a pimpolicious pirate straight off the disco dancefloor, and you don't get any more W.A.S.P. than the cowering wimp Sio Bibble. So, since there are so many (slightly unfair) exaggerated depictions of people from Earth tossed into the Star Wars mix, I think that there should certainly be a stereotype cowboy like those that many folks still seem to think hunt indians here in Oklahoma.

His name? It would be Sassafrass Sam... Or, since this is Star Wars, Sa'ssa'f Rass S'am. Sa'ssa'f would make his first entrance in Clones, right before Anakin hops atop the shaak in the rolling fields of the Naboo Lake Country.

"You city slickers think yer gunna ride these here hombres?" He would say to the young couple rolling a blunt cigar between his lips while kicking his spurs into the dirt. Anakin wouldn't listen tho, coz he's too cool for cowboys.

The cowboy would then show up in Revenge, when Obi-Wan is searching for a ride in the Utapau sinkhole.

"That little miss is called Boga," Sa'ssa'f would say wiping sweat from his brow, "She rides nice and has good stamina, she'll do ya fer, good. I'll let her go for a shiny silver buck." But of course Obi-Wan would perform a mind trick on poor Sa'ssa'f and cheat him out of his money.

Sa'ssa'f would also be seen in the background of Return of the Jedi, leading Ewoks onto the reservations preceeding the celebration (but no worries, he would be back in 60 years to go for the jackpot at the Ewok Casinos).

But I guess Star Wars will never have a cowboy, and therefore my future politically correct kids will have no character to emulate. I guess, like many, I can wait for the Specialest Editions and keep holding out hope. At least I can brand my taun taun action figures with little "Skywalker Ranch" ensignias.