So I've returned from the netherworld that is Star Wars opening night. I'm depressed, restless, and in a funk beyond all funks. After all the hype, after all the hours of delving deep into spoiler country, after Celebration III, after the waiting, the clockwatching, the agony of impending thrill... This is what I'm left with... Revenge of the Sith.

I never thought I would say this, but The Phantom Menace is my favorite prequel.

Revenge was not without its high points, I assure you. However, it was cram-packed with the low. Just when I thought that Lucas and company were finding the right mix between computer-generated effects and practical models, when I thought that the tone of the film and the acting would finally join hand-in-hand, when I thought there was no lower place that the prequels could go, I stepped into the theatre and was blown away by how boring this new film is. Even the action pieces did little to excite me.

I'm so upset right now with what I feel was a waste of three years of my life. I'm upset with myself for setting such high expectations for this flick. To me, this was going to be the "save-all" flick of the series. It was to be the prequel we've all been waiting for.

I almost feel cheated by the hype, but I know it's my own damned fault.

I won't even go into what I disliked about this film, surely you can read that elsewhere or go and pick it out for yourselves. This film didn't even feel like a Star Wars film to me. It felt like a mainstream give-in that exists for pure visual spectacle and nothing more. There was no engaging storyline, no improvement in the acting (except with McDiarmid [as if he needs to improve!] and McGregor), and there were so many long-anticipated scenes that felt so awkward that my friends and I had to keep from laughing so as not to get our butts kicked on the way out of the theatre (when Vader breaks free of the shackles, imagine a small Neimoidian screaming, with his mouth totally out of synch "Oh no! It's Darf Fader!").

I just don't even know what to think about this film, and I'll probably have a clearer image after I see it again Sunday, but I'm saddened. I had just known that this was going to be so good, and I set myself up for this crushing disappointment.

"Pain, suffering, death I feel..."