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Visine. It gets the Sith out.
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This is a HoloNet News Update...
Kiff: Good afternoon. I'm Kiff Calis and we're interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news from 500 Republica, the luxury apartments of many of the Coruscani elite. Our reporter on the scene is Lux Synii. Lux?
Lux: Thanks, Kiff. As you can see, there's quite a bit of harried activity going on behind me. The reason for this is the unexpected return to Coruscant of Lord Vader, the young man formerly known as Anakin Skywalker. There has apparently been quite a change in the former Jedi hero. Some are saying he was directly responsible for the death of Senator Padme Amidala on a recent off-world trip. That's pure speculation at this point, but this reporter has uncovered incontrovertible proof from an unnamed source on Naboo, who's employed in the Theed Office of Vital Statistics & Records, that the two were married secretly, some three years ago. That certainly casts more doubt on his innocence of the speculation, but we'll keep an eye on that aspect and see how it plays out.
Right now, we want to give the warning to any residents of 500 Republica who are not in the vicinity of their residences now, to stay away. If you are a resident and still inside the complex, you most assuredly should evacuate immediately. It's not safe and residents have been streaming out of the apartment complex in droves over the last hour or so. There are reports that at the mere passing of Lord Vader cracks appeared in the walls and floors of the corridors. Building inspectors have been called to assess the structural integrity of the complex but most likely will not enter until Lord Vader leaves. Additionally, some report having just escaped with their lives, as those in the immediate path of Lord Vader were met with force-chokes and subsequent death. It has also been reported that he is currently in the apartment of the late Senator and by all estimation this is the case as there has been steady rain of furnishings and other personal items that have come down in the last few minutes.
Kiff: Lux... I'm sorry to cut you off but we need to take a net break... we'll be right back.
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Creation of Clone Army: 15 billion credits.
Posh new Imperial digs: 20 million credits.
Having a Sith Lord as your enforcer of unlimited power- priceless.
Imperial MasterCard
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Kiff: Welcome back citizens, we're going to turn the coverage back over to Lux on location at 500 Republica. Lux?
Lux: Yes, Kiff. As you can see we've taken cover at 400 Republica. It was proving too dangerous to remain in our previous location. I have with me a former handmaiden of Senator Amidala, who in recent years worked closely with the Senator as an assistant. She was one of the residents that narrowly escaped the current rage being unleashed inside 500 Republica. Dorme, what can you tell us about Lord Vader and his relationship with the Senator?
Dorme: Lord Vader? Is that what he's calling himself now? Whatever. How about Grand Sith Idiot? That'd be a better title.
Lux: So I take it you had some knowledge of him prior to this recent change?
Dorme: Yeah, you could say that. Padme always had a soft spot in her heart for lost causes and Anakin reigned supreme in that category.
Lux: You sound somewhat bitter.
Dorme: Then I'm expressing myself perfectly! Look, she's dead and he's responsible.
Lux: So the current display isn't just grief in your opinion?
Dorme: If it's grief, it's for himself! I'd told her for years he was unstable and would ultimately destroy her. He was an obsessive, paranoid, unruly, raving maniac! They don't usually make good mates. Her crime was that she suffered from a streak of compassion that ran too deep. She should have divested herself of that egotistical freak ages ago! And to top it all off, I'm out of a job! LORD Vader, indeed! *rolls eyes dismissively*
Lux: Thank you, Dorme. Well, there you have it. We're going to go back out and check the scene on 500 Republica so I'm going to toss this net cast back to you, Kiff.
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