Well, as we all know yesterday was Valentine's Day. And in tribute to Ralph Wiggum's belated valentine from Lisa Simpson, this entry is a day late. Every year around this time, I always think back to my elementary school days when everybody in my class would give valentines to each other. But in those days, there really wasn't much choice. You had Peanuts, Garfield, Scooby-Doo, and maybe Yogi Bear or the Flintstones.

My how things have changed. You can get valentines for whatever you want to. In my elementary school days I usually ended up giving Peanuts valentines or maybe Yogi Bear. Now, years after I was in elementary school, they have Star Wars valentines. While buying snacks for the Super Bowl, I came across those Star Wars valentines. And they absolutely cracked me up. Nothing quite says Valentine's Day like Darth Sidious staring you down with his wrinkled, force scarred visage, and telling you that together we can rule the galaxy. Nothing quite says I'm fond of you like tyrannical oppression. Or of course, you can tell that special someone that they have your allegiance from behind the black mask of Vader.

Or if the dark side's not your thing, then you can always go for the we make a great team valentine. Of course, if your valentine goes to the dark side, you may have to fight them just like poor Obi-Wan. At least they have yet to make a Luke and Leia valentine, although I suppose that it would be a good one to give to your favorite Star Wars fan brother or sister. And they have yet to reach the Star Wars birthday card which extolled the young recipient of the card as being just like Anakin Skywalker.

I say if they're going to make Star Wars valentintes, then do it right. Why not have Han Solo valentines. They could even make valentines where Anakin talks about sand. That will be a real popular seller. In that instance, Anakin is very much like Ralph Wiggum, although "so, do you like . . .stuff?" is a better pick up line than droning on about your hatred of sand. Valentine's Day would have been so much more fun when I was a padawn if I had been able to give Star Wars valentines. Why did it take them so long to do this?

In the end though, the Star Wars valentines are far from the funniest pop culture valentines I've ever seen. A couple of years back, I saw WWE The Rock valentines. Now, that's a way to express your affection for someone. The single funniest valentine message I ever read though belongs to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer valentines I found once. It summed up the feelings that all of us have probably experienced on one Valentine's Day or another. Happy Stake in the Heart Day. You coud even give someone a chocolate heart with a dry spaghetti noodle in it.