I noticed something the other day because we decided to watch the first Star Wars movie. Not the first one but the first one, A New Hope the 70's one. The question came up, Obi Wan Kenobi, master Jedi or drunk? I hereby submit something to you, Obi Wan was a drunk and I mean that in the best possible way.

It's really obvious in this movie but it's punctuated by his behavior in the other movies. The gazing into the distance while people are talking, playing with his beard. The rambling sentences that sound like he needs a running start to get out. The fact that the first sign of trouble he heads into a bar to solve it. The fact that he's known as the crazy old loner in the middle of the big desert planet. The fact that he's been seen in nothing for over a decade but a dirty looking robe. The way he lies.

Oh come on now don't give me that "...from a certain point of view" crap. He lies. Lies like cheap Jedi cape. "It's your father's light saber. He wanted you to have it when you were old enough." Then in his mind he mumbles into his fist, "Ahem, if he knew you were born and didn't want to kill any of descendants because his master would want that and if he didn't want to give it to his daughter first."

How about this one, "I don't ever remember owning a droid." Well played old man. Living with native American style. "Luke, think about it, does anyone really ever own a droid. These ones have been flopping around the galaxy for like 50 years, going from person to person. You don't so much own a droid as rent it. Which reminds me, if you'll excuse me I have to go drain the bantha."

Princess Liea is pleading with him in a message to help her, he's her only hope and at the end of it he's gazing off into space, twirling his beard as if he's thinking, "People still think I'm a good Jedi if I do this with my facial hair and the stare. It may make me look wise but boy am I faced."

Becky pointed out that one could argue that he didn't so much mean to rescue Luke as he might have just been wasted again, walking around the desert pretending to be a dragon. That roaring noise that scared off the sand people it might have just been him going, "Woooo, I'm a dragon. Dude, I'm huge!" in kryat speak, like I'll bet he did more then once before stumbling onto Luke. Then thinking, "Oh ####, where do I know those droids from. Oh god, it's the fruity one and R2. Crap, that's Skywalker's kid. This can't bode well. I need a stiff one."

Hell, he goes into the cantina and Luke gets a guy on his ### and he goes, "This little one's not worth the effort. Now come, let me get you something." Translated, "Aw man, this runt's getting me into a world of #### without your help. Let's do what we came here to do, drink."

Alderan blowing up, do you think that really hit him so hard or that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to come down? Hell, I'm starting to think he had a couple sips off of a Jedi flask in the Death Star before dueling with Vader and was thinking to himself, "Watch this ####. I'm gonna do a move on your ###, Vader, that's going to blow your mind." right before he gets cut in half and 'becomes one with the force'. Right after thinking, "No wait, that's not it. I wanted to do that other move with the kick."

Why, he drank so much that even after he joins the force in the afterlife he's still tanked. Luke is half dead and stuck in the snow on Hoth and he can't think of any kind words to give Luke? He's just all, "You must go to the Dagobah system. There you will find Master Yoda, the Jedi who trained me.......as far as I can remember. Everything's been a real blur the past forty years or so."

As for the Ewan McGregor version, Jawa juice? Does that sound like something you'd drink if you weren't going to get a buzz off of it?

Once again, he goes near a bar and has to go in for a shot. Not to mention he's always talking like he's wasted. "This is your lightsaber. Guard it with your, hiccup, life." then a drunken stare into nothing. His head barely able to keep from wobbling while he talks to Anakin with must smell like summer sausage and whiskey breath.

In his defense, having the chosen one under your wing and him breaking bad would drive me right off the hover-wagon.